Expert: Mark Rosmar - 12/1/2007

Question
More than once I have read and heard about how if you seem "desperate" it somehow causes you to appear unattractive to the woman you are interested in. If this is the case, I'm afraid that I have been making the mistake my entire life. The trouble is that it is the way I am. Ever since I was a little kid I only wish to be very nice to the girl that I am interested in. All the stuff that, according to what everyone is saying, is a bad idea. Hugs, kisses, compliments, presents, all that stuff. It would seem to me that to behave different would be like lying to her. And I hate the idea of lying to a woman that I care for. And to be the opposite would be to not interact with her which would not advance the relationship. If the things that I naturally express to a woman are ineffective or leads to being "just friends", then how exactly should I be acting?  I'm very confused about this."

Answer
Hello Todd,

Thanks for your letter.

At the end of the day you do what you feel comfortable doing, and giving a woman too many gifts or too much time is not necessarily appearing desperate as it's all relative. But whatever you do you must make sure that the attraction is always there.

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Mark Rosmar