Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/11/2007

Question
QUESTION: hi dr.neder, one thing ive been hearing alot lately and it seems to make sense is being a challenge with women and trying to not to impress them to actually impress them boy...some things are crazy that works to get women haha.. but as you know i told you about lisa a couple questions i had were we pretty much talk everyday i almost all the time text her first should i stop texting her period keep texting her but not as often or only text her when she texts me first i know woman and girls like a challenge what if she texts me first should i always write back. thanks

ANSWER: Hello Jarrod!

I know, I know. This whole dating this is crazy!

That challenge thing is a little misdirected. Yes, you want to be unavailable at times. In other words, don't always respond as that gives her something to work for, but in fact, "challenge" is something you do when you DO respond to her!

This sort of challenge is more about treating her like your brattly little sister than someone you're interested in. For example, we use things I call "busts" in order to grow her interest over time. Now, you can't do this every time and it may not even fit for your personality. Many guys can use these busts effectively however, but I want to caution you - this is an advanced technique and is easy to over do it or to not pull it off at all.

In short, busts (and chanllenges) are all about acting disinterested while you're also being cocky. If this doesn't make sense, don't worry about it - you likely won't want to use it anyway. As I said before it's an advanced technique and not easy to pull off.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hey dr. neder, thanks for the tip on the " bust technique" it actually kind of hits nail in the couffin because her last boyfriend who she was crazy about acted totally disinterested in her all the time and was always a challenge and it worked haha... my question is however is you said be a challenge when you DO talk to her are you saying act like you dont want to talk to her and kind of end the conversation quickly like hey ill talk to you later i have some stuff to do and then dont write her back or call her back is that how it works sort of..? thanks for the advice

Answer
Hello again Jarrod!

Basically that's true. The bust and challenge techniques are pretty involved and require a ton of set-up to both understand and to use effectively. I suggest you take a look at my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" for the complete information on them. Trying to give you a simple explanation via messaging isn't going to help you  much.

Suffice it to say that you want to act somewhat disengaged with her. That will draw her to you. The opposite is chasing her which will cause her to bolt instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"