Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/19/2006

Question
alright im sorry if my question is long but i wanna get the best
answer i can possibly get so here it goes...as of right now i am a 16 year
old in the 10th grade and im having problems on wether or not i should
continue to purse a lovly young lady..shes also sixteen and in the same
grade as me...i met her last year but never noticed her untill a few
months into school when i began talking to her. it is then i realized
that well, im in love with his girl, after i realized i was in love with
her i continued to talk to her but then i told one of my friends about
her and he said we should call her (i got her number from one of my
friends) at the time i was watching a movie and still trying to figure out
if i really did like this girl or if i was just confused or something
like that i told him to call her up and ask her out for me so he could
leave me alone, 10 mins later he calls me up saying that she said for me
to call her up and ask her that question myself, when i heard this i
got excited because that seemed like she was gonna say yes so i called
her and ask her and she turns me down after that i stopped talking to her
and even looking in her direction because i didnt want her to think i
liked her anymore since she turned me down, a year later things have yet
to change i still try not to make eye contack with her or talk to her,
she now has a boyfriend whom everyone at school hates and now and then
i hear from my friends that she does not like me and thinks that i am
ugly but she never acts like she hates me or anything, i have her in 6th
and everytime she gets up she always looks in my direction i noe this
because i see her out of the corner of my eye. a few weeks ago her and
my friend (the one i told to ask her out for me) called me up one night
but i refused to answer the phone because well i just didnt want to
answer, not only did he call me but she did too and also she sent me text
messages urging me to answer, the next day she came up to me and we
walked 2gether to 6th period (and yes i actually t!
alked to
her) now when i think about what happened that night i find it very
hard to think that she would say crap that my friends said she said, as
of now i dont noe what to do she says she doesnt want to lead me on but
yet in class she always trys to make eye contack with me or start up a
convo....now what i really need answered is if i should continue to try
to hook up with her or just give up, her b-day is up soon so i was also
wondering if i should get her anything or just leave it be

Answer
Hello Michael!

What a bitch! She asks your friend to have you call her (reasonable - you should have done this yourself - don't ever let me hear you asking your friend to do something like this for you again!), and when you do, she turns you down? That's outrageous and frankly, I'd never tolerate that sort of disrespect - even a year - or 20 years later!

Frankly, here's what I'd do; especially considering how disrespectfully she treated you before.

Just say to her, "Look, I already have enough friends and frankly, your lack of respect a year ago just left me cold. If you want go to out, then just say so. Otherwise, I just don't have any room for rude people!"

Actually, I'd put it much tougher than that, but you can use what I've given you.

Michael, there are tons of really terrific girls out there. Don't let some little tart play you - you deserve much, MUCH better than that! Trust me. Make HER actions the defining ones - not yours.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"