Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/2/2007

Question
hi, my ex-girlfriend whom i was with for about two years, she was my high school sweetheart and I love her dearly still. It has been about two years since she broke it off with me and I am an active part of her life still, she keeps me a secret from her very controlling boyfriends for as long as she can, she's on her second one and of course me and him hate each other, because they always find out about me, mostly due to my pride i guess. These guys are nothing like me, I'll admit i can be an ass about stuff, but I never tried to control her, im sorry for the length but my most recent relationship was really deep for a while but it broke up due to her, and im in the prime of my life where i should be meeting many women and dating often. I've told her I love her recently and nothing came from it besides an awkward conversation. i feel ill never meet a woman that i had as much fun with ever again.

Answer
Hello David!

Let me let you in on an "immutable" (unchangeable) law of the universe. This law is just as real and as powerful as the law of gravity and even if you don't believe in it, it works just the same. For instance, you can claim to not believe in gravity, but if you try to walk off your roof, you're going to get a big dose of it.

This law I'm about to describe is called the "Law of Vacuum". It means that; very simply, nature abhors a vacuum and will do everything it can to fill it. Here's an example: put a glass around your mouth until it seals and then start sucking in the air. The glass will stick to your face, right? If fact, it will pull your lips into it. Your lips will get red and swollen because nature is trying to fill the void left by the air you took away from it.

Other parts of your life work the exact same way! If you create a void in other parts of your life, nature will automatically try to fill it. On the other hand, if something is already filled, nature just accepts that nothing else can go in and ignores it.

Look at your love life as an example. You already have it filled because you never really got rid of your ex-girlfriend! There's something already there so nature doesn't try to fill it.

Here's the rule about the Law of Vacuum: make room in your life for what you want by getting rid of what you don't want.

In other words, if you want something new, you have to get rid of what you don't want. In your case, you've held on to your girlfriend all this time, so guess what? Nature hasn't tried to fill it with anyone new - there's already someone there!

While this friendship may keep you in touch with your ex, it's not helping you find that new woman at all and is standing in your way of doing so. You need to create a complete vacuum here if you ever want someone new there. I suggest this is the time to let the friendship with her go in order to have something much more valuable - and that means completely. Throw away her phone number, email address and everything you have that reminds you of her. You have to create as complete a vacuum as you can if you want the Law of Vacuum to work for you rather than against you.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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