Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/28/2007

Question
I've dated a few girls throughout high school. But there is this one girl that I loved so much. I have dated a few girls since we have broken up about 2 1/2 years ago. I thought I loved this new girl that I meet, until I suddenly started thinking about my old girlfriend that I loved the most. I dream about her ALL the time, and its making me depressed to think about her and that I cant go back in to the past! She dates someone now. I'm single now and would love to have her back so that I could be happy. I would pray every night that I would find someone that I love and this started happening! I cant stop thinking about her! What should I do?

Answer
Hello Jake!

Let's be clear on exactly what this is: it's not that you are in love with this girl from high school. Instead, you are in love with the IMAGE of the girl that you carry around.

Think back on this - you and she broke up for a reason. Likely it was some incompatibility issue. What you've been doing for the past 2 1/2 years is forgetting all of her bad qualities and comparing her best qualities to the girls you've been dating. Thus, you're actually programming your mind to believe you're in love with this girl from the past.

I'll bet that if you and she started dating again, things would be great - right up until your mind started remembering why you broke up; then you'd be kicking yourself for making such a stupid decision to get back with her. Why would I bet this? Simple: I've done it 100 times myself!

What you need to do is to break this cycle. Until you do, you're always going to be wishing you were back with the old girl and nobody new is going to be good enough. In fact, you've likely thrown away some really great girls while you're wishing for something you really don't want. That's pretty tragic in my opinion.

Here's the best place to start: go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and click on "Self Help". Then, click on "Miscellaneous articles" and read the "34c Deprogramming Miracle Cure". Follow it's directions and you'll start purging yourself of this old girl so that you have room for someone new.

Don't hesitate - go do it right now. You've got to get healed over this and move on. 2 1/2 years is far too long to hang on.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"