Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/17/2007

Question
Hello Dr.Neder.
My name is Mario and I'm interested in asking your expertise,about a friend of mine.

His name is Jason and he is an ex-con.
He was just recently released after spending 10 yrs in prison(I won't be able to say what his crime was).Before He went to prison,let's just say his taste in women weren't the best(i.e.Hookers).
Fortuantely his taste has changed,due to of course,having ample time to reflect on past/bad decisions.
A few weeks ago,jason,35, began talking to a woman he met recently online.
From what he has told me about her(other than her bearing a striking resemblance to Halle Berry),she is a successful Lawyer,who lives quite comfortably.
He says he's really into her and supposedly she has express some interest in him as well.
But there's seem to be a problem with the friendship,due to his background.
From what I have gather from Jason,he has told her about his criminal past and at first,he said she was cool about it.
But lately,Jason has confided in me that because of his background,it has hindered the friendship from progressing to a relationship.
Now Dr.Neder,I'm sure you're aware of some of the difficulties that ex-cons have,when being released back into soceity.
And it's no different for Jason.
While his lady friend is sitting well(Lawyer,nice home,BMW),Jason is having a hard time getting it together.
He is working,but not making much money.He's trying to get his Driver's license reinstated and he dosen't have a car(he says because of not having those two have really affected them spending time with each other).He lives at home with his folks(which also affects their time together)and he has very little savings.
From what Jason has told me,it sounds like she is becoming tiresome of doing most of the "work"(she driving rather than Jason.And she having him spend the night at her place,rather than she spend the night at his place).
Dr Neder,I don't want you to get the impression that she is a selfish"gold-digger".
I've personally had the opportunity to meet and get to know her.And just from what I have gathered(due to her telling me about her past relationships),she somehow always ends up meeting men that are trying to take advantage of her and her resources.
And I'm guessing that due to Jason's lack of social resources(driver's license,car),it's triggering those hurtful memories that she has had to deal with.
I can assure you Dr.Neder,that's not the case with Jason.He is trying to rebuild his life and I think that he has told her numerous times,that he isn't interested in her possessions/money.
Dr.Neder,I think their perfect for each other,but this is really affecting their friendship and any sort of romantic progression.

If you could speak to Jason(or any other man)one on one,what advice would you give him about a situation such as this.

And forgive me for asking a really DUMB question;But why is it so IMPORTANT,for a man to have social resources(driver's license,car,finances),when pursuing the opposite sex?


Answer
Hello Mario!

I'm afraid I don't do "pass throughs" on these sorts of questions. It's far too difficult for you to translate what I'm saying and the likelihood of getting it wrong is equally likely.

If your friend needs some advice, please have him write to me directly.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"