Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/11/2007

Question
Hi! A friend of mine introduced me a girl a few months ago that I was curious to meet because she attracted me in all senses. Now I still have the same enchantment about her but there's one thing difficulting my approach: she is always in the same bar I do but with a group of female friends and not only for one second she's alone, as I'm shy I don't feel comfortable to go there and talk to her in front of her friends.And then there's another thing: if she was alone even for 15 minutes I'd feel confident to go there and chat with her for while but it never happens, there's always someone...What can I do supposing that I don't privacy with her at all because she's shy too.

Regards,
Gustavo from Portugal

Answer
Hello Gustavo!

Don't approach her - approach the group. In other words, go talk to the entire group as a whole and ignore her completely! As you begin to charm them - and become considered part of the group - it'll be easy to feel comfortable with them. Then, you can simply turn to her and say, "You know, I've been ignoring you. Here, give me your phone number and we'll spend some time talking."

Very simple, and proven effective!

Gustavo, you need to get working on this right away. You've already let "a few months" pass without doing anything and trust me, time doesn't work to your advantage here. You no longer look shy, you look insecure. That's a very different thing to women.

Go talk to the group and become part of it. That'll not only give you your "in" with this girl, but will also give you "social proof" - the group's acceptance of you will mean SHE has to accept you too.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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