Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/22/2006

Question
I am a 15 year old and I really like this girl a lot. We talk sometimes, sometimes say hello, and its just ok. But I don't know if she likes me. I just need some advice on how maybe to attract her and for me to work up more confidence to do it. Please help.

Answer
Hello Will!

By "attract her" do you mean make her so interested in you that she does all your work for you? Not going to happen. Girls know that it's the guy's job to approach and if you can't do that, you're not going to get very far with women.

Don't ever try to "impress" a girl for this reason.

Here's an even better piece of information: you don't have to impress her to start dating her. All you have to do is know specifically what you want and to tell her as much.

As far as confidence goes, you have something of a problem because every time you avoid asking her out, you actually harm what confidence you do have. When you do what you want, you increase that confidence instead.

If you can't seem to find the courage to ask her out, try this: imagine someone you admire doing it instead. You might imagine James Bond or "Maverick" from the movie "Top Gun" for instance. How would they do it?

Then, simple be that character when you ask her out. In effect, you don't have to be the confident Will in order to get what you want, you can draw that strength from someone else.

You should also take a look at my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com and click on "Self Help".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"