Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/10/2007

Question
My name is Skylar and im 15. There is a girl that I really like, but she doesn't know and I'm afraid to say anything to her because she has never really noticed me before. I not too good at doing this kind of thing. What should I do?

Answer
Hello Skyler!

First, relax! Just because it's the first time you've been interested in a girl doesn't make it a huge deal. Trust me, in a few years when you've approached a bunch of girls, it'll seem pretty easy - and it is!

Also, DO NOT tell her how you feel about her! That is a huge mistake. You just want her to say, "Oh! Skyler! I feel the same way..." and for everything to be easy. That's not the way it works.

Here's what you do. The very next time you see her, (don't wait because if you do, you'll just talk yourself out of it) walk right up to her and say, "Hi there. I'm Skyler, what's your name?" She'll tell you. Then mention anything related to you and she. For example, if you and she have the same class you can ask her what she thinks of the teacher or the subject. If not, ask her what she thinks about the school.

Don't ask her "yes/no" question however. Ask her "open-ended questions". For more on this go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and click on "Self Help". Finally, read my FAQ's about open-ended questions.

The point here is to get her talking. The best subjects are what SHE thinks about things (not what you think about them.) Finally, cut her off (not abruptly unless you do this so well that she just keeps talking and talking!) by saying, "Well, I have to go. Here, write down your number and I'll call you so we can talk some more."

Skyler, it's just that easy! Go do it the very next time you see her.

Best regards..

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"