Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/28/2006

Question
there is dis girl that we go out a lot together,its been a months now and she told me dat she love me and other things,so tomorrow am gonna see her in dis b-day and i realy want to kiss her there, but am afraid coz i never kissed a girl b4,i dnt know how to do it ,or when,i want her 2 kiss me in da end not me,plzz help.am age 16 and am a male.bye

Answer
Hello Ahmed!

It's your job (as the man) to make this first move. It's not hers and trust me, she knows it.

Frankly, this is about as secure a situation as you could possibly have! She's already told you that she's interested in you and you are taking almost no risk here.

There is one way that you might move this forward, but Ahmed, this is something of an "advanced technique" and if you don't pull this off exactly right, you're going to look very weak. I'll tell you about it, but frankly, I'd suggest you NOT try it as it's so easy to backfire on you. If you do try this, don't say I didn't warn you!

Here's what you do: after you and she have been hanging out for a while, take her off somewhere to talk. Have a private, intimate conversation and while you're doing so, touch her gently on her arm, shoulder and neck. Eventually, you can start stroking her hair as you and she are getting closer to each other.

Start looking at her lips as she's talking. This will send her the signal of what's on your mind. Then, slowly, as you're still staring at her lips, move in, part your lips slightly like you're going to kiss her, but stop short at the last minute just fractions of an inch before you actually kiss her!

Then, linger for just a moment and the go right back to where you were! Ask her, "So, you were saying?" Then, act like nothing happened. If you do this just right, she's going to be going crazy and will likely start the kiss for you. HOWEVER: be aware that if you don't do this exactly right, you're going to look scared, not sexy! Frankly, I wouldn't risk it considering how easy this is all going to be.

Instead, I suggest you use my "opening kiss" technique. There are many benefits to this, but the most important one for you is that it'll get you past all the fear. Here's what you do:

As soon as you see her, instead of walking up and saying hello, walk right up and plant a kiss right on her lips without saying a word. Let it hang for just a moment and then pull back and go on just like nothing happened. The biggest benefit to you is that you're going to take her by surprise - she's not going to be expect this. Even better it follows an important rule about kissing: first kisses are never "given" by a girl, they are "stolen".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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