Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/31/2007

Question
Hello Dr. I have to most amazing girl. She is my 1st love. I couldnt ask for anything more . But lately she has been kind of distant and she starting to talk to her ex alot, hangout with her guy friends. I remember in the begining she couldnt stay away from me. But i have been working alot. And now im trying to catch up. But she just doesnt want to. Is there somthing i can do to attract her back. i dont want to lose her. I love her to much. Its killing me inside.

Answer
Hello Jesse!

First, it's a good idea to try to find out why she's pulling back. It might be that you're getting too clingy (likely) or that she's getting bored.

Here's a fact: women don't want to be chased, the much prefer to DO the chasing. If she thinks she already owns you (through your actions) then she has nothing new to work for and the relationship gets stale.

Once you determine exactly why this is happening, you can correct it, but one of the things you should be doing is pulling back even further. Right now, you're chasing her down and as I've already said, that's a bad thing. On the other hand, if you get a little scarce - stop calling her, texting her or emailing her, she's going to have to come find you instead. That will start up her interest again.

The bottom line however is that even if you get her interests back you STILL have to solve the problem. Find out what it is and deal with it clearly and directly.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
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