Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/27/2006

Question
Hi,
Three years ago I left school and I really fancied a girl, three years later she has not left my mind, I have got back in contact in April and I have found out that she has a boyfriend. I have been trying to meet up with her but we can't see eachother because of the distance involved. I am moving in the spring to the place I met her and grew up. How am i able to go out with her and ask her? I have given lots of clues but really I need a pro to help me.
Thank you

Answer
Hello Jamie!

First of all, forget the clues. Not only is there a possibility that these can be missed - or misinterpreted - you're much better off with the clear, direct approach.

What I'd do is to stay in contact with her somewhat irregularly. Contact her here and there, but not every day or on any particular schedule. I'd say about once every other week should be fine. You can mention that you're moving to town, but don't say anything yet about wanting to get with her.

Then, when you move, contact her and say, "Let's meet [date & time] at [location]." Don't ask her - tell her. She can make up any excuse she likes for her boyfriend. Further, she won't know particularly what this is about other than a couple of school chums getting together. That's when you really want to turn on the charm.

Until that time, just play it cool.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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