Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/4/2007

Question
In school there is a gorgeous girl who is very shy but gets all the attention from guys (mainly boy skl) who try to get her attention & who try too hard. She doensn't want it because she has a bf. But for the last month she's been acting quite strange with me. Sometimes when we pass i'll see her looking back at me with a smile or whenever we have a small talk, she sounds extremely shy & quiet. Keep in mind i'm not 1 of those guys who tries to get her attention. i just keep my distance & don't bother because theres no point. But sometimes i'l see her glancing whenever i walk pass her & smiling & one time when we spoke, i made her blush by sayin that she was quite pretty.

But i don't think anything of it because she has a bf, plus there are 50 boys wanting to hit on her so i don't want be friends or get close with her....

Do girls like it when guys don't try to gain thier attention or when guys try so damn hard it's embarrasing. Also - what do you think of my story .....?  

Answer
Hello Dani!

It's not so much about trying to get her attention as the fact of being different - not like the other guys - that's "attractive".

Girls are more interested in the "exception to the rule" rather than the rule itself. In other words, shouting at the top of your lungs to be heard over the crowd isn't as appealing as simply BEING different from the crowd.

As you will learn, there are guys that walk into rooms and start yelling to announce their presence. Most people ignore these guys. Then, there are guys that walk into rooms and don't say a word, but just have "presence" and everyone notices.

The problem is that most guys choose an extreme - they are either too loud, or too quiet while lacking that presence. Neither one is better than the other. It's far better to develop that personal power that exudes from you on it's own. That's incredibly attractive to women.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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