Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/27/2007

Question
QUESTION: "hi . thanks for ur time .

i hope u are psycho or at least you have enough information to help me
despite i alwayz thought for this subject i dont need any help, but
this time is diffrent for me .
there is a chick in same university with me ,(Sorry FOR BEING FREAK) i
dont give fuck to the girls just i c them as ass and you know...... ,
but this girl was diffrent when i knew her at first she starts behaving
like someone that she is really interested in me , she was pretty but i
didnt responce well, this back to 4 months ago , then i start
responcing to her with eyecontact and voice other shits but this fucking girl
finally get power on me . now i really like this girl she is fucking my
brain, but the problem is this i guess she realized this subject that i
am interested in her and now she is start playing with me , what fuck
can i do with this girl , i really feel i like her , but i am not those
kind of guys that like to be played by someone because i always has
used to play with people and when i get this situation that i have
allready with this chick  my brain stop to decide and think well and i behave
like fuck dap homeboy childhood gay guys. dude give some advice i
really dont know for the first time what should i do ?"


ANSWER: Hello Afshin!

The fact that you're really interested in this girl is messing with your head. You want to make sure that you do everything right and because of that you're getting far too stressed about everything.

The first step is this: RELAX! Take a deep breath and step back a little bit. Don't be so concerned with doing everything exactly right - you won't, but that's not going to hurt you here.

What you need to do is to start treating this girl like your bratty little sister. Tease her and make fun of her just like you would if you didn't want her around.

What you're probably doing now is trying to win her by chasing her all over hell and back. Don't do this! If you do, she'll continue to play you until she loses interest and moves on.

Along with this, you need to get some direction between you two. This is a little subtle so I'll try to describe it more clearly.

You need to tell her (don't ask her) to go out with you so that you can work your magic. If she avoids you, just tell her to get over the dumb little games and to grow up! Right now, you're probably treating her like a piece of fine china instead of everyday dinnerware!

Then, when you and she go out, kiss her! You need to turn this into something more than just buddies or you're going to lose her for lack of interest. Then, once you've gone out and really rocked her world, pull WAY back.

Don't call her for about a week - and don't return her calls. When you do, act disinterested, but set-up another date anyway - and then do it all again!

This sort of thing will drive her crazy.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: man tanks for ur answer , i feel it can be usefull .
but listen to me i dont know what hell is happening. today i saw her , she came to me and told me i wanna say that my friend is interested in you (HER FRIEND IS HER ROOM EIGHT TOO AND THEY ARE ALWAYS TOGETHER) and she told me can u take her to discotec or somewhere i told give me her number she told i should first i ask her ,,
man i dont know what fuck is happening with this girl because her friend just came like one month ago despite i knew her from 4 months ago and she started to act as interested in me from that time , so what can be behind this story man i am thinking to get relation with her friend and by her approach to this chick , what do u think!
ANSWER: Hello again Afshin!

If you start dating the friend, you'll never have a shot at the primary target - trust me.

What do you want here? The target or the friend - you can't have both.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi again DR.
i got it now you are woman so first of all i excuse for using to much rude words in my sentences because dr i really have gotten mad from time i knew this girl , and second i think your help can be more affectful.
DR i cant tell u how this girl i fucking my brain its 4 months i knew her there is no even one second that let me to ignore him from my mind. however i just have this feeling because i feel she is intersted in me too.
as i explain to you in my last mail she told me her friend is interested in me (i dont know its real or she wanna test me ) , if i understand she is not interested in me i dont give damn , and i go for her friend . so dr i dont want to miss this opportunity of dating both of them . because herfriend is going to leave her for 3 months and so target is alone here so i have time .but i will see them again this weeks how can i face them , for target give me such of cradit that i am not those guys that go out with everygirls , and also doesnt annoy her friend too .  

Answer
Yo! Afshin!

Ah, no, I'm a man. Have you even looked at my expert bio??? If that guy in the picture looks like a woman to you, you've got a few more problems then just how to approach this girl!

If this girl sees you as a player, you're not going to have a chance with her. Like I said, pick one or the other and go for it. If the friend is leaving you *might* have a chance to get with the friend and then your primary target after she leaves (because you're *so* lonely now that she's gone) but if you go for the primary target first, you're not going to have much of a chance again with the friend.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"