Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/24/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi Dennis,

I was dating this guy for a while and he was really loving and affectionate. We recently started getting a little closer. We haven't had sex yet, but we started sleeping nude together and taking showers together and touching and kissing everywhere. Anyway, so the other day we were in the shower, we were kissing and kissing and we could not stop, and I was kissing him and touched his penis, then reached around and started massaging his balls, and realized he has very small, shrunken testicles despite having a large penis. He just looked at me and said "I have no balls" and I said "it doesn't matter, I think you are perfect." We kissed and kissed and couldn't stop kissing. A couple days later he came and broke up with me saying he needed a break and let's stay friends and it's not me its you. Hmm...ok...I"m confused. Why did he break up with me...does he feel inadequate somehow? Honestly his testicle size makes NO difference to me, I think he's gorgeous. Or he's just not interested in me anymore and wanted to break up with me period? Because he is ignoring me now. I'm very sad. Should I talk to him? Or just move on.

Analise
ANSWER: Hello Analise!

I don't know why he broke up with you. If he really has no testicles at all (removed or whatever), his sex drive will be all but non-existant, and if he feels that sex is going to be an issue with your relationship (which eventually, it will) he'd rather break up with you now than suffer with it later. He might also have "non-descended" testicles which means they never dropped out of his abdomen.

Yes, you should talk to him about it - if he will. Frankly, he's likely going to be very sensitive about this and it's going to be difficult to talk to him, especially now. The real problem here is to get him to be open and honest about things. Within the context of the relationship he has a responsibility to do this for you. Outside of is (as you are now), he has none.

I suggest you give it a shot, but if it doesn't work, just plan to move on. This is something he has to work out for himself. You aren't his therapist, and until he DOES get it worked out, no woman is going to be able to break through that barrier.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION:
Well, when he told me he needed a break, he said he just needed some time for himself to focus on some things because he was really stressed out with his career right now. His eyes were darting back and forth and he was acting very suspicious, and it seemed like he was pulling excuses out of his ass to break up with me. The next day I asked him if it was just his career as to why he needed time off from me, and he said yes, it has nothing to do with you, but his eyes were really huge and looked suspicious. I asked if this break was for good and he said "yes...for now" I have been walking around looking very good as of late, dressing up really nicely and whenever he sees me he smirks and sneers when he sees me looking good and talking to other men (not flirting or anything). Sometimes he looks right through me as if he hasn't seen me. From what I have told you now, what do you think happened?
ANSWER: Hello again Analise!

This isn't a "break" - it's a break-up. He's just too much the coward to say this.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION:
You and I are not mind readers, but from your experience in life, what do you think happened? Why did he break up with me?

Answer
Hey Analise!

It could be any of 1,001 things. I'm afraid I don't speculate on these things as there are so many possible reasons why people do what they do. You're asking me, when in fact, you should be asking him if you really want to know!

Sometimes you just have to take things as they are. He likely has some problem with his stones, but only he knows what that is.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"