Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/19/2007

Question
QUESTION: I proposed a girl but she rejected me. Now she is in another school but still I love her. She is so butiful and I am not that beautiful. Is it the reason? What shall I do? And she hates me after I proposed her..

ANSWER: Hello Dalbin!

No - your looks are not the reason. It's more likely that she just isn't attracted to you for other reasons. If you're not dating her, why did you propose to her?

Dalbin, how old are you and what country are you in?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: iam 20yrs old and iam from india.sir i can't leave her can u please suggest me any way to attract her
ANSWER: Hello again Dalbin!

The (many) letters I get from India always have the same 3-4 issues, and all of them are based in a lack of sophistication. No offense, Dalbin, but therein lies your problem.

I constantly see this from these letters all the way to Bollywood musicals - there are presumptions of how you build a relationship that are just untrue. If you really want this girl in your life, throw away all of the "proposal" things and start working on the courtship! Marriage may be your goal, but she's not just interested in the wedding - she's interested in all of the other things involved. You've just totally ignored all of those and went right for the goods!

Here's what you need to do: go to her and explain that you were premature in all of this. You need to get to know her better - and she needs to get to know you. Ask her for another chance and when you and she get back together, take is SLOW. Stop trying to jump right to the prize - you need to win it first.

Spend some time learning about her - her dreams, wants, background, expectations, etc. Find out everything you can from her. Share with her what she asks about you too, but don't force it. Let her come to you.

Dalbin, this is going to take months (if you do it right.) The Indian culture believes that you first get married, and THEN you find out about your mate. That's not only wrong, frankly it's very dangerous. What if she's not at all the girl you think she is?

Step way back and take this slowly at first. Love is something that grows from mutual respect and understanding. Only after you're REALLY in love (you're not in love now - you're only infatuated) then AND ONLY THEN should you propose to her. Further, you'll have a much better chance of getting a "yes".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i love a girl she is my friend too i am facing a problem too propose her so give me any idea? i did'nt tell her about ma love towars her iam afarid but i want her, if her answer is no then i dot want to lose our friendship... plz help me sir
ANSWER: Hey Dalbin!

Then don't force to her say no! Instead, tease her along. Work on building rapport and connection first. Don't rush in trying to get married. Let her find out about you and spend your time finding out about her. After a while she'll be dying to hear you propose.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: so how can i come to know if some1s love is true.........
is it a wrong thing to b selfish in case of love???????????????  

Answer
Hey!

I don't know what you mean by "selfish", but here's something you absolutely, positively know:

She doesn't love you yet!

She can't possibly love you until she knows you very, very well; nor can you love her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"