Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/22/2007

Question
Its a long story. Heres the short version. This girl from England,18, came here in Feb and I like her alot. I live in the U.S. I really like her as a friend, and more than a friend. Im not sure on what she is thinkin of me though. We always laughed and smiled together when we talked. She left and hugged me and gave me a kiss goodbye on the cheek and said see you in Italy. Anyway she left and 4 months passed by, I had no way of contacting her, and I found her on myspace. Do you know anything about how myspace works? Well I asked her to be my friend on it and she accepted the invite. Then I started by saaying hey____how you been its been all good here. She replied with hey____yea its been all good here say hello to everyone for me how have you been. I answered back with yea ive been great but its been boring with school been counting down the days until its over cant wait for the summer what have you been doing. She replied with yea school is boring i hat it your goin to italy soon though right, and she told me about what she has been doing and asked if the weather has gotten better than it was when she was here. Then i told her thats great and some stuff about me and when i am leaving to go to italy and that im looking forward to it and also said your goin to right so i should see you there. She answered back sayin yea thats cool about me and when she is goin to Italy and that she will see me if my lot goes down to where she is. I answered back sayin yea we gotta hang out because I will definetly be comin and i will have already been there a couple of weeks by then. Thats the last thing that was said. Do you think she likes me? Have I been sayin the right things? What do you think the situation is? Could she possibly like me the way I like her? What is your opinion on the situation?

Answer
Hello Luigi!

I'm afraid I don't get the sense that she's quite as interested in you as you are of her, but honestly, that's by far the least of your problems here!

First, she's all the way across the "pond"! How in the hell are you ever going to have any kind of meaningful relationship with her? MySpace isn't exactly going to help you here at all. Think about this - you're going to think you're involved with this girl while all sorts of other great girls pass you by. These girls are ones you CAN have a real relationship with!

She may meet up with you in Italy, but she's probably not going to be there alone and her friends (and she) are going to want to do specific things with their vacations. I doubt that it's going to match you and your friends. The best you can hope for is that you have a fleeting meeting somewhere for an hour or two, but even then, it's right back to where you are now.

If I were you, I'd put a small amount of effort into trying to meet her while you're in Italy, but far better - try to hook up with some little cutie on your trip! What could be better than spending a romantic trip to Italy with someone in your group? Better - you can come home and have a real relationship with her!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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