Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/22/2007

Question
Here is the deal:  I met this girl at work so one night out of the nowhere she calls me and asks me to come over, and I do.  She had a few drinks before I got there (with her roommates that is).  After trying to watch a movie she asked me to sit next to her and ofcourse I did.  We ended up kissing and some more...  So it happends that she was taking a class with me at school too.  We kept on texting after that and went out on a date, I tryed not to jump the gun and not be to agressive towards grabbing her hand and kissing her but when I droped her off at home I did and left.  We had an exam in this class and we studied together she made me breakfast that morning (since we met to go over test questions that morning) after the exam I asked her for lunch and I ended up cooking at her place for her and me.  I was not feeling the vibe to kiss her again, at least not from her, the next day we worked together and I wanted to kiss her really bad.  I had a great day that day and I told her and after she left she texted me saying "I would have kissed you to make your day better"  and I said "how did you know thats what I wanted"  (She had blushed a few times when I had walked and got close to her) and she said that it was mutual.  Well next day she called me to talk about a mutual friend but that was it ,she was on her way to pick up her sis.  2 days from that she was leaving to a cruise with her family for a week and I wanted to see her before she left and told her that I might stop by to say good bye and she said "I wont be gone that long" so I took it as if she didnt want to see me. so I said good bye over a text.  she left and came back, when she came back she didnt call me or nothing but I saw her when she stoped by our work to eat (yes I work at a restaurant)  well I told her "oh I didnt know you were back and she said "yes I came back yesterday" well I kind of blew her off after that and decided not to call her the next day and I didnt (it wasnt easy) finally she texted me to ask me how I was doing and I told her ok and what I had going that day.  She was on her way to visit a friend like an hour and a half from where we live.  She responded have fun at work and Ill see you at work some time this week (when ever it is that she works).  Sorry is kind of long but I want you to understand whats going on.  So please tell me what do you think its going on????

Answer
Hello Eduardo!

Here's what happened: things were moving along pretty well until you started to pull back. She even told you (in "womanese") that she wnated you to move thing further. Instead you pulled back again. Next, she changed her environment by leaving for a short while and regardless of what she said, she wanted you to come sweep her off her feet. You didn't show up and instead, texted her.

Now, she doesn't see you as the kind of guy that will take charge and make things happen. Instead, you're the guy that pulls back and she's lost interest.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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