Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/26/2006

Question
  Hi...well first let me start out by saying that I am only fourteen...which I know sounds like young and you'll probably say something like; "you've got plenty of time.." or some crap like that, lol.  Well here's the thing...it's weird here.  There are very few people that are actually normal...I live in a place where 2/3 of the people are seniors, about 1/3 are completely retarded [including some of the 2/3 of seniors], a lot of people have no standards of conduct, and if you narrowed it down, only about 30 guys and 15 girls are normal.  If you looked at the grand scheme of things, mainly 8 guys have had girlfriends and about maybe 40 girls here have ever had a local boyfriend.  So that's an idea of the kind of thing I'm dealing with...we're not very populated, lol...
  Anyway, there's a girl I'm really interested in...name's Lauren...long story short I'm obsessed with her and I've grown more and more over time, and no matter what will ever happen I will always know that I definitely do care about her.  But she's interested in Jeremy...I know she definitely doesn't love him, but she wants him pretty bad.
  Jeremy moved here last year.  He's a guy from the outside...a scholar in the matters of flirtation, but quite frankly a total jackass.  He has dated Lauren once before...a total of three days.  Lauren broke it off, if memory serves me correctly.  Now he kinda wants her and she really wants him...but I say he already had his turn and he screwed things up, lol.
  I'm not sure if Lauren and I are friends anymore...I know we definitely were...there was a time when the both of us in some senses hated each other...but I still cared about her deeply.  Anyway, lately I'm not sure if we're friends at all....sometimes I think she determines it on a day-by-day basis.  Some days we talk, some days we don't...some days she'll ridicule me and some days she won't...and it makes me wonder just what the hell is going on in her mind.
  Well I guess I kinda went off on a tangent...I guess my question is...how can I find out for sure what she really thinks about me?  Is there any clean-slate way?  And if there is and I find out AND she thinks of me as a friend....where do I go from there?  Thanks!  [P.S....Thanks a lot for just reading all the way down here, lol]

Answer
Hello Adam!

I'd sure like to know what you define as "normal". Personally, I've never met ANYONE that was "normal" - you and me included!

Here's the fact: you can't be sure if specifically what she thinks about you. Women are experts at hiding their real feelings. You can ask her, but you're not likely to get an answer you'll accept. You can ask her friends, but they're not going to help you much either. You may just have to GIVE her an opinion about you!

What I suggest is that you get scarce for a week or two. Don't talk to her, don't call her, don't just run into her, etc. Be totally blank. Then, in two weeks, treat her like your best friend! Be nice and fun with her, tease her, be charming, etc. Do this for about a week or so and then get scarce again!

This little game is all about drawing her out - causing her to come to you. Do this a few times and see how her attitude changes. If she doesn't seem to care about it (no reaction), or she start chasing you, you'll have your answer.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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