Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/21/2007

Question
hi,
i am an software engg in an mnc in india.in our company cafeteria i noticed one sweet looking and calm girl(but with enough makeup on face n body) so many times nd started liking her very much. the girl is allways with a guy who is not goood looking comparablly to me or the girl and very unsmart nd calm. i got the name of the girl from my frnds frnd(all we are in same company but different buildings nd projects).i dropped her a mail along with others(a trick). she replied asking whether i included her name by mistake as i dont know her i said yes but i asked whether the mail attachment was nice. she said yes.i replied that i hope she wont mind if i again send mail by mistake toi her then added that im joking . then i started sending her many mails nd also started stalking her in cafeteria. she understood im the man who sends her mail. but her signal was yellow. suddenly today she mailed me saying"send mails to your frnds only". wat should i do next? i really love her.

Answer
Hello Prakash!

You shouldn't have tortured this poor girl!!

Prasash, you've totally blown this situation. What am I supposed to do for you now - pull some magic potion out of my ass or something to help you fix all this damage?

Here's what you need to do:

First, resign yourself to the fact that you've very likely lost this girl entirely. I don't care how good looking you think you are or how much better you are than the guy she hangs around, she's only thinking two things: LOSER and WARNING!

You can't do this much damage to a possible relationship and expect to recover from it unharmed. I hope this is a lesson to you in the future.

Next, once you've resigned yourself to your likely fate of not ever having contact with this girl again, you need to go up to her and tell her you're sorry for being such a jerk. Explain that you just wanted to get to know her and didn't know of any other way. Tell her that you hope she can understand and forgive you.

MAYBE she'll feel sorry enough for you to give you another chance, but honestly, I doubt it. You've got about a 5% chance of success - meaning you also have a 95% chance of failure.

That's a hard, painful lesson.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"