Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/29/2007

Question
QUESTION: I have broken up with a girlfriend , or rather she dumped me because
she felt rejected by me because I asked for a break dealing with an
illness, during that 4 week break she met someone else , we met in 4 weeks
and had the most passionate day ever we spoke of marriage and our
undying love for each other , as we parted she said call me in a while and
we'll get back together .. the next day she calls me and says she's
staying w/ the new guy and stops communicating w/ me .. I call her a bunch
and send her letters , she asks me to stop contacting her at all, I
respected that .. and stoped now I have several unanswered questions like I
drew her portrait and can't give it to her , and prior to the "no more
calling or writing" request I sent her some tickets for a very expensive
show for her and her 2 children ( my son and I have the other 2 tickets
) am I fool for thinking she'll show as she hasn't returned the
tickets,( this is totally out of character for her)  and if by chance she
doesn't and I wait 3 mths before sending her that portrait what do I write
to go along with it , to see if she'll think about coming back ??? I'm
very lost over this whole thing and can't find the right direction , I'm a single parent and 41 yrs old I have only a few good relationships to ever base my feelings off of and I
have a very weak support network of people to help or talk with.,,
please help .


ANSWER: Hello Tom!

How many times are you going to ask me this exact same question? If you don't like my original answer, please feel free to ask someone else.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I'm trying to figure out what to write in 3 mths when I send the portrait .. I realize I'm in a dark place , I have no one to talk w/ about it. I really feel she won't show on the date of nov 17th and I should go on w/ my life , but I'm deeply saddened by this mistake of mine.. I can't get in to see a professional for several weeks .. I did like your original answer but I don't know what to follow up with in 3 mths.  sorry to bother you would you please help me

Answer
Hey Tom!

I've already told you NOT to send the portrait. Don't reward her bad behavior by giving her a gift! That only makes you look like you're trying to buy her attention and that you have no other value in your eyes or hers.

As I also said, don't expect her to show up at the show either. In 3 months, just contact her with a short message saying that you're just checking in with her to see how she's doing. Tell her what a great time you've been having without her and hope she's well. Cut it short and tell her that you have to run but suggest that you and she get together to catch up over a drink. That's where you want to really turn on the charm.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"