Expert: PracticalHappiness.com - 3/16/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi There,

Thank you for your reply. I might need help in the physical part. When is a good time for pysical touch and all? good place for all these things?
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Hi

Thanks for your replies, I manage to go out with her, I introduced her to my company and she is now working part time in my company just for 3 days. had lunch and we travel to work together. It seems ok though... And she agreed to go on a short trip with me and my friends to indonesia its 3 days 2 night. How do you see this matter? And what should I do, what is the next best step? I look forward to you reply.


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Hi Arkady,

thanks for your answers, what I notice now that she is grieving for the lost of her grandmother, I really wanna be there and probably bring her out and start getting her to do actvities. I may not be the first person she want to be with, but how could I get through to her by bringing her out and eventually help her in getting out of grief. I sent her a ecard and some sms, but apparently there is no reply. Maybe this is the time I can get closer... I look forward for your reply.
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Hi

Thanks for your patience, you are really a great help. Just one more question before i start whatever ou thought me. My fiends has been asking me to sit her down and talk with her. Like asking her is there any chances at all. Whether she has any slight interest in me.
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Thank you for your prompt reply. :) you are saying, dun try to keep asking her out or dun even ask her out? instead speak with her on the phone? If so... I need your help to.. on the topics, the banter and sarcasm you are talking about? when should i call and should i not? she is constantly with her friends though moreover i guess she is grieving over her granny's death. I willing to put my attention to her now, I would need all the help to get me on track now. thank you
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Hi, I forgot to add in, you may go to this website to know more about her, maybe this might help you better. http://beachie06rocker.multiply.com and mine is gavin06.multiply.com. I hope this could give you more information. I hope you could help me through to her. As i'm falling for her day by day.
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Thankz for your prompt reply. I did try to ask her out, but she is a very busy girl with alot of friends around her that she would spend time hanging out with. Its not easy asking her out or talk to her on the phone as she is always around her friends. In the month of Jan was a very busy month for me (working on deadlines). For her she is having her final examination to handle. We agreed to go out after her exams, which the 3rd date was on Vday, but the date was then changed to Vday eve as she wants to spend time with her friends on Vday. I guess that her friends are very important to her. She knows very well that I am very fond of her, and I would do anything for her to fall in love with me.

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Hi,

I met this girl in December and is attracted to her. I went out with her 3 times
in a time span of 3 months... Frankly I kinda got a hard time speaking with her,
sometimes she don't pick up or reply messages. I have been also very busy with
work so i did not really contact her. I did tell her that i kinda like her on
the 2nd date, she replied me by saying that she prefer us to be friends first as
she is kinda sick of a relationship. the 3rd date was on valentine day eve. We
had dinner and movie... I surprised her with flowers and a gift, apparently she
likes it. Then I found out that there are another 2 guys sent her flowers as
well. I am very confused as I do not know whether is she interested in me,
playing hard to get or just leading me on. I tried to ask her out again, then
finding out that her grandmother has just passed away. I need to know what
should I to find out whether is she interested in me? I really do not know what
is this girl really thinking of. When is a good time asking her out again?
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Hey, Gavin. Thanks for your question. I believe that your past behavior sent a certain message to the woman. The fact that you only saw her 3(!) times in the past three months - why would you expect more from her and why should she expect anything more than being acquintance with you. I don't think you can expect her to put "all her eggs in one basket" and see only one guy who only sees her on average once per month...

Before I can answer how you can find out if she is interested in you, tell me what was the reason for you not seeing her more often?

Thanks, and I look forward to following up.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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Hi, Gavin. Thanks for your kind words. I am sorry for being skeptical, but I am deeply convinced that when two people are interesting in seeing each other, THEY FIND THE TIME to do that. It doesn't matter how many friends a woman has an how busy her social life is, once she meets a guy that she is interested in, those friends go to the back burner, at least for a while. The same applies to men. While you can't be absolutely sure why she was unavailable, lets stop for a moment and try to figure out the real reason as to why you didn't / couldn't see her more often. Is it because you didn't want to push too hard or... was it because you were put off by her unavailability, or was there something else to it?

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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Hey, Gavin. She is a cutie! And looks sweet. I couldn't tell which one is you on all the photos on your page, but it doesn't matter.

Something tells me that the best way to get through to that girl (and many others) is by teasing, banter, and being sarcastic.  

STOP trying to talk her into going out with, but instead, when you talk to her - try to exhibit those great, fun qualities. Let me know if you would like some specific examples of what I mean by banter and sarcasm.

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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Hey, Gavin. It's all about teasing!!! Without thinking about it at all, if I were you and based on what I know about the girl, I would talk to her this way:

"So... how is her majesty doing today?"  
"Are your body guards around you at this moment or can we talk privately?"  
"I am also thinking about paying people to hang out with me."    And so on.  I don't know enough about her but this should be the tone of your conversation. Your voice and your words should be playful.

Then say: hey, I know this cool cafe near this park. Lets go down there this Thursday evening, grab something warm and sweet to drink and take a walk together. It will be fun.  

If she blows you off for whatever reason, tell her to call you when she becomes available AND NEVER ASK HER OUT AGAIN.
Why? Because when a girl is interested, it will be apparent to you. If you have ever had a girl who was interested in going out with you, you must know it.

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com

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That could be a good idea, Gavin. It is more important HOW you do it an/what you do it  - ALWAYS. If you do it in a confident, detached manner - it would be great and intersting (although probably won't change much). If you crawl up to her, begging for her time - you might as well forget about it. I am sure you know what I mean by now.

And please feel free to follow up. I don't mind. I enjoy helping.  

Also, please go to  
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=667259  and listen to two audio files for free from my program "Powerful Pick-Up"  - especially the one about confidence. It's important.

Thanks.

Arkady Itkin
www.practicalhappiness.com
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Hey, Gavin. The key here is not consoling her and trying to make her feel better. Leave this to her friends and relatives. Your job is distracting her and taking her into another world - a much happier one and distant from the sad things that happened to her.   

I am not a big supporter of IM / SMS, E-Cards and other E stuff, and I am a big believe in in-person communication. Your voice has much more impact than all those toys. Use it to your advantage! Talk to her, invite her to do something simple but fun and go from there.

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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Hey, Gavin. Good job. I would rather have you go with her alone and without your friends, but it's ok. Now, just be her dream-man. Demonstrate attractive masculine quality - fun, humor, positive energy, wit through your conversation, opinions, and jokes. And... ESCALATE PHYSICALLY. Which means - don't forget to touch her lightly and casually when you interact with her - touch her by her back, arm, hand - whenever there is a legitimate reason to do that and get gradually closer and closer to her. That's what you call flirting.  

I really believe you would greatly benefit from my program "Powerful First Date" because it discusses all those crucial elements that you need to be aware of in order to know how to attract women.  

The program is available now on my site at www.practicalhappiness.com and aslo as immediate MP3 doownload. Just go to lulu.com and search under my name "arkady itkin." Based on what you know about you and based on your desire to learn and succeed, I am certain that you will benefit tremendously from this program before your trip.

Thanks,

And don't forget to rate me :)

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
ANSWER: Hey, did you try to escalate physically? Do you know how to do it? It's too much to describe and I would hate to be too general because you need the details. But my audio program "Powerful First Date" discusses this crucial part of flirting and getting closer in great detail. And for a limited time, this program is available for immediate download at http://www.lulu.com/content/707120  
Check out the free preview and download the program. Judging by the fact that you enjoy learning, you will be glad you did.  

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com

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QUESTION: Hi

Thank you for being here when i need help. I came back on the trip with her... I guess that we are getting on kinda well... we are closer in a way, there wasn't too much on physical touch but here there was a some... we spend lots of time and all. And I send flowers to her in the wed (14 March) then we head for a movie on 15 March, that was when i told her I have feelings for her and this is what she replied me. "Honestly, i'm very unsure and I cant get and exact answer about my feelings.. I'm sorry I cant unblind you cox i'm blind too..." So what does she exactly mean? I not sure how to proceed from here. I guess I need some enlightenment again. Please help. Thank you

Answer
Hi, Gavin. Nice hearing from you. You are committing a typical and serious mistake which turns most women off!!!! Please understand that expressing your feelings in such a romantic and overwhelming way ONLY works in movies. IN reality, it makes girls go "ewwww!" unless they are just as crazy about you as you are. You must stop talking about your feelings until much, much, much later - until you are in a long-term steady relationship. There is no reason to spill your guts. It's unattractive!!! Please understand that whining to a girl about how much she means to you does not make you more attractive but much less attractive. It puts way too much pressure on a girl and puts her in the corner. It's hard for us, guys, to relate to that because we operate so directly and so differently from women, but lets not forget that women are indeed different creatures. Thus, their behavior and reactions are different.
Being attractive means being interesting, funny, and different. That's what I am talking about in all my dating programs for men and that's what ultimately puts those guys who use the programs to another level in meeting and dating women.

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com