Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/4/2007

Question
Alright, so I've been best friends with this one girl for like a year now. But ever since I first met her, I've liked her. I always been there for her and tried to give her unbiased advice, even when she dated my best friend. But it seems like she doesn't even care about me sometimes. She doesn't always return my calls. But then sometimes she really does want to hang out with me, so I'm not really sure what's up. Well anyway a week or two ago we were having this really serious conversation about how she feels really insecure about herself and one thing led to another and I told her how much I like her. But it seems like she doesn't even care! it's like all i did was tell her what I ate for breakfast. She was sorta liking this one guy when I told her and she still likes him! What else can I do to convince her that we belong together? Is there any hope? Is it me, or her?

Answer
Hello Zach!

You're fucked.

Zach, I'm in the "reality business" so let's deal with the realities here, ok?

First off, you became her "friend". That totally and completely killed off any chance you may ever have with her. I'll explain why that is so - but before I do, go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and watch the short video on "friends" under BAM TV. Go ahead and do it now - the rest of this won't make sense until you do.

Ok, so now you know why you just shot yourself in the foot.

The reason why she doesn't give a shit is because YOU created that situation for yourself. She (and all women) want a guy that's going to take charge and take risks to get what they want. What you did was to take the easy way out by thinking that if you just pal-up with this girl, she'd see what a great guy you are, fall in love with you and do all your work for you - and take all the risks.

Like I said before Zach, you're fucked. That's totally opposite of how women work, think, act and love.

She doesn't give a shit about you and your feelings! You insured that to be the case when you started on this path! Then, you were there for her (with no reason) to boost her up when her sagging ego let her down, she'd cry on your shoulder when someone else hurt her and you'd be there for her.

In effect, you're her emotional tampon! Women don't respect - let alone date - emotional tampons.

Look Zack, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you've ruined any chance you have with this girl. Here's what you absolutely need to do:

Dump this using, self-centered, inconsiderate bitch to the curb and move on. Get healed and learn how to REALLY turn women into something more than friends. Don't ever do this again!

The very best therapy for you is to get into the arms of the very next girl you see. It doesn't matter that she's not this girl - just do it! Then, do it with the next one after that and the next one too. Get your head screwed on straight, get healed and get going. There's nothing left for you with her.

That's the reality.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"