Expert: PracticalHappiness.com - 3/7/2007

Question
Ok thanks. The real reason I asked this question was because I was dating this guy for six weeks (a month and a half) and everything seemed to be going great and he seemed to be really into me. Then he told me we need to take a break, and so I assumed we would be getting back together, but then he started dating another girl a couple days later. What a jerk. The thing is, we never had sex, I am a virgin and he is not, but he never pushed me for sex ever. The most we did was oral and take showers together. Do you think he broke up with me because we hadn't had sex? He never pushed me for it. Or was it another reason? Ironically I thought he was the one, if he had waited a little longer I would have slept with him. But now I'm glad I didn't, because he obviously wasn't the one.


-----Answer-----
Hi, Lauren. Thanks for your questions.

With regard to timing of sex, I believe in moderation. Sex on the first date is not the best idea; but waiting for a year is not a good idea either. You should have sex when you feel attracted to a guy and comfortable enough to have sex. Whether it's your third date or a month or two later depends on circumstances - on his pace, your pace, and the chemistry between the two of you.  

Most guys will leave if they don't get sex. Well, why lie - most women will leave a guy if he doesn't give them sex as well! Physical element is of primary importance to both sexes and especially to men. When a woman withholds sex for no compelling reason (and I can't think of a compelling reason not to have sex with someone you love and got to know) it hurts a man's self esteem, frustrates him and leaves him physically and mentally unsatisfied. This will push him away and / or make him look for sex elsewhere.

Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up.

And if you found my answer helpful, please rate me on this site and comment on my work.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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Answer
Hey, Lauren. I can't see how you could be at fault here since he never pushed for sex. No one can expect you to put yourself out there (literally) and offer sex. A guy is supposed to apply "pressure" to get there.

It sounds like the guy was a little confused and wasn't sure what he wanted. I suggest that you move on an focus your energy and time on doing other things and seeing other guys and not worrying about about that other guy. You did nothing wrong.  

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This unique, thought provoking, and a very practical guide has transformed all aspects of love lifes of hundreds of women around the world already, and I would be excited if you were the next one.   
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Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com

Thanks, and feel free to follow up.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com