Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 2/25/2007

Question
I am a 43 years old widowed man from the capital Managua (Nicaragua). While visiting a new friend into the country (Matiguas) in Eastern week 2006, I met his daughter, her name is Jenny, she is now a 20 years old university student in Managua. She is a country girl from Matiguas and educated in a CONSERVATIVE WAY by her high middle class parents; but for the last 3 years, she is being spending most of her time in Managua due to her university studies.

I chased her for 3 months, before she finally accepted me in July as her boy friend, she requested me to keep the relationship hidden from her parents, because she says no one is good for her.

Our dates started beautifully, we used to go out in Managua; but some times, she we met people from her town in places we were hanging out, like malls. She did not want her parent to find out, so she requested me to include occasionally her close girlfriend in the future dates, using her as excuse that we were out in a group. We could afford to go to nice places thanks to my income, I gave her nice and not so expensive presents, always checking for details.

I felt this lead us to lose privacy and not being able to enhance our relationship, because we could not ignore her friend being with us.

In November 1st., was Jenny birthday and I convinced her to go to a hotel and sleep over night, the only condition she asked was to bring her girlfriend alone. That night, we kissed a lot and I kissed her all over top less, including her beautiful chest, and sexually played but with her shorts pants on. She argued that she had never been with some one that far and that she was still a virgin. I  did not want to ruin the relationship considering that it was her first time. So, I decided to divided the sexual part in future occasions until full fill sexual act, to make it more romantic for her.

After her birthday, we met in some occasions before she was going to leave in December for 2 months university vacations to Matiguas. However, in November, she started going out with some group friends ending up meeting a guy she said called her attention. Of course, I did not know back then, until now.

During December and January, I visited her in Matiguas staying at her parents home. I noticed her strange and asked her what happened, so she said that what she felt for me was no longer the same. I tried to fix the relationship talking to her, but I did not know the reason behind she felt that way, the other guy I guess.

By the beginning of February, she finished with me and by February the 14th she started dating this new guy, even to the point to sleep over his place, a thing she would not do with me because she was supposed to be a “moral virgin something”. So, she cheated on me.

My lesson is that I was so stupid for not having her that night I had the opportunity, that was my only chance I had. I feel sorry for me.

I know that her new relationship wont last longer because it started quickly, he does not treat her with good manners and because she is used to enjoy good things the new guy can afford to give her because of his low income.

My question is, how can I restore a relationship in the future once she is over with this guy? I feel is not a good idea to use the same approach I used when I met her for the first time, it has to be different, but I do know how to make it a stronger approach and seduce her to the point of marrying me. Is she worth while the my effort? Please, help. Thanks.

Answer
Hello Joshua!

Frankly, no. She's not worth the effort. She was hanging out with you mostly because of the money you spent on her and the fact that she had nobody else in her life. Bringing the girlfriends along wasn't as much to protect her in case someone told her parents as it was to prevent you from getting too close to her.

Please don't waste your time waiting around for her. Go find someone else that shares your goals. I'd hate for you to wait 2 years or more only to find that you never had another chance in the first place.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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