Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/14/2007

Question
First off im 16 and dont go to a regular high school. I go to Charter school so i see about 20 kids a day. Recently a new girl came to our school and it was the first time i had been atracted to someone in quite a long time, I Later realized she was very very nice. She seamed to only bend over backwards for me so i got the feeling she liked me. Shes the first girl in a while i can truley relate to but am having trouble asking her out, as i am very shy. Got any advise for me?

Answer
Hello Richard!

You're likely making a classic mistake here and that's why it's so difficult for you to ask her out. You think that by asking her out, you need to entertain her and frankly, that's a lot of pressure.

Here's what you want to do instead:

Just get together with her to find out more about her. One day when you see her at school, just mention that you and she should get together outside of school because you'd like to get to know her better. That's all! There's no pressure and you don't have to entertain her at all - just two people with a common school getting together one afternoon.

Richard, don't make this a bigger deal than it is. You're freaking yourself out by imagining all sorts of scenarios rather than just keeping things easy and casual.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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