Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/29/2006

Question
Hey again, i think im being annoying now lol. I found out why she broke up with me, just not because of that issue but also because i was changing for her, and she didnt like that. But your right she does seem to want to talk to me more! I dont think playing the role of her being the one having a mistake because she did break up with me! lol any other brilliant schemes my friend or should i give that one chance a shot. Oh and by the way my friend started likeing her.........
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hey again, i did exactly what you told me, i asked her out on a walk, (havent went yet) and now she thinks i hate her cause i dont talk to her, or look away and do work when she says hey. And also i cant rekindle what she was attracted to me in the first place because i liked a girl and i was real sweet to her and she was my ex's best friend, and i told my ex why i like her and i guess it was really cute and she was attracted to that so i dunno what to do in the holidays? So what do i do on t he walk now! lol best regards
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Thanks alot for that reply, but heres another problem sorry. alright i tried asking her out to the movies as mates, but she said shes cashed out and its  onli 11 dollars, does it mean i lost her forever? also should i try to avoid her in every single lesson of my class? since shes not my friend?
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Hello, im 14 years old, and have just got dumped by my ex-girlfriend, she dumped me in computing class and said she just wanted to be friend. In the week following up to the break up i was being an ass, not talking to her alot because of my own issues and she seemed to think i was avoiding her. Now i screwed up badly and i really want her back. Shes in everyone of my classes and therez only 2 weeks left to the holidays and i really love her! what should i do!? HELP
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Hello Anthony!

First of all, if you're having some issues, I'd hope that she'd be more understanding of all of this. If her only concern is herself, then there are other problems here besides being dumped!

That's not to say that you can mistreat someone or that it gives you an excuse - it doesn't. However, we all make mistakes. If her goal is to dump you in order to punish you, I don't think you should accept that.

You do NOT want to be her "friend" - you want something more with her. You should tell her this.

What I suggest is that you see her in person somewhere outside of school. If she's really your "friend" she should be willing to meet you to take a walk.

When you do this, don't go and beg her for forgiveness - that's the wrong approach. Simply admit what you did and say that you regret it, but it's time to rebuild what you had and to move on past it all.

Tell her that you want to use the holidays to rekindle all those things you had when you first met but you need her help. You can't do this by being her "friend".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
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Hello again Anthony!

You asked her out on a date - seeing a movie! That's why she turned you down, not the money. She just didn't want to tell you the truth.

What I'm talking about is just talking to her. Not doing something that has some other purpose as an excuse to talk to her.

If she's in your classes it's very difficult to avoid her, but that means you need to turn your attention to everyone ELSE in the class instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

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Hey Anthony!

All of this is a good thing! If she thinks that you're going to try to convince her to get back with you, she's going to have her guard up. If she thinks that you hate her, she's going to be much more willing to talk to you.

However; with that said, it appears that she broke up with you to punish you because of a simple comment you made. Think about that. Do you really want a girlfriend that thinks she's your mommy and has to give you punishments when you don't do what she wants you to do? I'd hope not!

By ignoring her and by seeing this exactly as it is, you're in a much better place. Tell her that she made a mistake by breaking up with you and you think she's just being silly. You're not her friend and you're not going to be her friend. If she wants you in her life, she's going to have to rebuild what you had.

Do you see the difference? You're trying to recreate an event as though that's going to win her back. What I'm saying is treat her like she made a huge mistake and you're going to give her "...just one more chance" instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

Answer
Yo! Anthony!

Stick with the plan. It's the best, most direct way to go.

As far as your friend, he doesn't sound like much of a friend to me if he's trying to compete with you for her. Dump him and find some other REAL friends.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"