Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/26/2006

Question
Hi Dennis,

I've had a job as a courier for a few months at my local hospital and my job involves delivering things around the hospital itself. Theres a receptionist I deliver to that is absolutely gorgeous. In the past when ive been interested in a girl its never been this intense. I cant stop thinking about her and I dont even know her.. at all..
If I was with this girl I would give her everything.. The only thing is I dont know how to ask her out. I only get to see her when shes really busy at reception and I dont want to bother her while shes working. And usually theres 3 or 4 people at reception with her. Id rather talk to her while we are alone or when shes not busy at work. How would I go about getting her attention and letting her know im interested in her? What would I say..? She's perfect.

Answer
Hello Adrian!

There are a lot of complex issues here and I strongly urge you to check out my website for lots of good information on them all. However, let me offer this:

The fact that she's so busy can work to your advantage. Here are two ways to make it work:

1) If you're comfortable with challenging her, the next time you see her you might say something like, "Hey you! You know, you seem just strange enough to be really interesting."

She'll say, "What?" and you can reply, "Oh, don't worry, I'm just being serious." Don't smile or let on that you're kidding here. Just ask, "So, what's your name?"

She'll tell you and she may even ask for yours too. That's a good sign by the way. Next say, "You know, I have to rush off to deliver another package, but give me your cell phone number and I'll check in later to see just how odd you are. Here, write it down on this piece of paper."

Then, hand her a paper and pen (don't make her fish for them) and get her last name while you're at it. Next, about 3-4 days later call her up and tell her you want to meet her for lunch.

Notice how I'm not asking her for anything! I didn't say, "Can I have your number?" and I didn't say to ask her to lunch - you have to tell her instead.

I personally like this approach the best, but here's another if you're not that forward.

Walk up and get her attention (possibly to sign for the delivery) and then say, "Pretty busy today, eh?" She'll say, "Yeah - we're crazy..." or some such thing.

Say, "Yeah, me too, but I have a way to solve that. If you'll sign for all my packages at once, I won't have to deliver them. Then, I'll call your boss pretending I'm your doctor and tell him you have to come in for an emergency physical. Then, we can play hooky!"

She'll probably giggle and say something about not being able to do that, but you can now say, "So, what's your name?" She'll give it to you and you can say, "Great - let's have some coffee after work some time. Here, right down your cell number and I'll call you next time I'm in the area."

Again, I'm not asking her - I'm telling her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
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www.beingaman.com
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