Expert: Trey McGowan - 1/19/2008

Question
QUESTION: Good day  Mr. McGowan.

I am a nanny to a 2 y/o boy I am terribly concerned about. I have cared for him for seven months, five days a week, for ten hours a day and feel I know him well. I observe him closely and feel that he displays many of the syptoms of Autism. IE, he mimics word i try to teach him yet, he seems not to  comprehend at  all...I will show him a flower, point to it, let him touch it, repeat  the word to me, etc but It still doesn't register as i do this with him daily aand will then say "What Is this?," pointing to a flower and he will say nothing. Another example, he doesn't use words very frequently, but rather he babbles and occaisionally will throw In a "tree", the only word I feel he truly comprehends the meaning of. He throws fits that seem to me disproportionate to whatever the cause was. IE, If I tell him /i am going to make his lunch and to go play with his toys, he will throw himmself on the floor and can wail for up to 20 minutes. He doesn't just have outbursts, but rather complete meltdowns! I feel that he Is frustrated,  In his own world very often, entirely disengaged and feels so misunderstood...It saddens me deeply. I will be resigning as his caretaker very soon and donot want to see this go unaddressed as i know children with language difficulties that stem beyond the age of three are said to be forever disatvantaged. Help,PLEASE!

ANSWER: Hi there, Jillian!

One of the best things that you can do for helping this young man is to bring the issue up with his parents. Arm yourself (if you'll pardon the term) with some information and try to bring it to them in a straightforward, but calm and sympathetic, manner. Try not to be on the offensive: just be concerned and a friend.

I'm not going to lie to you: it may very well be that the parents will get extremely defensive about the suggestion. It may also be that they are aware of it, though, and simply overwhelmed as what or where to go. Local support groups can help them, and therapists and/or psychologists in your area can also give the boy a proper evaluation. If you can tell where 'your area' is in general, I might be able to find a local support group to suggest, even.

I wish I could suggest for what you, *yourself*, can do about the matter. However, there is only so much that you, as a nanny, can do. This is a matter that has to be done by the child's parents, in the end. They are the ones who will have to give the permission for what will be done, and make the choices, at least until the boy is of age.

If you have any more questions or comments, feel free to follow it up. I'll see if I can't be of some more specific help!

Trey

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you Trey. I have brpught this matter to his Mother and she has scheduled an appt. with a therapist aho will be observing him this week. she responded well to my concerns and seems to want to help her son as do I. My question to you is, given the examples i have offered, do you think this could be Autism? i have done quite a bit of research and although I only hold a BA in fine art,and am not tryiing to do any diagnostic miracles here, I believe It could well be. We reside In Jacksonville, Fl. Additionally, his mother is a seventh grade teacher and does want all the help she can get. She and her husband are divorcing, money is beyond tight and she is overwhelmed on many levels and does rely heavily upon me as pertains to her son...HELP???

Answer
Hi there again, Jillian!

In Jacksonville, huh? Well, a quick scan around led me to a couple links that might be able to be of some help for your charge's mother:

http://www.firstgiving.com/asgj
This is the webpage for the Autism Society locally. The page itself hasn't been updated in a while, but that doesn't mean you can't contact the folks from it and see if they have some sort of local and/or new workshop that she can work with, as well as a possible diagnostician.

http://www.hscj.ufl.edu/peds/aut/
Here is one through the university of Florida in Jacksonville. Universities often have some aid services, I find, in order to give students a chance to observe and/or work first-hand in the diagnosis. The money situation might be something to inquire into, due to this. No promises, though.

As for making the diagnosis myself, I'm not a doctor, so you can take my words with a grain of salt; observation will tell *much* more than just what I can tell through reading over what's been said. But that aside, there are definite autistic symptoms that I'm seeing here. At the very least, his language development seems impaired, and being able to get him to a developmental therapist will help figure out what sort of speech therapy might help out with some of it. Or if it's just a slight delay. I would, however, consider getting him evaluated; there's enough marks to call for a definite 'possibly' here for me.

I wish I could give a more solid 'yes' or 'no' on this, but observation and details can be the biggest thing, and just one letter doesn't always give all the details needed. Still, I hope that the links and my answer have given you at least a little comfort!

As usual, follow-ups, questions, et cetera, don't hesitate to ask.

Trey