Expert: Dr. Sharon A. Mitchell - 1/8/2008

Question
My son has Aspergers he is 12 and attends a small charter school in Florida. He is in all regular 7th grade classes and has teacher assistants in all his classes except P.E. He struggles daily with school but has his most trouble in PE as that is the only place he has had any problems.

He was on OSS for 4 days. The principal at the school feel that my son can control his temper tantrums be cause he did feel remorse and cried about it, but I know he can't. Can kids be suspended from school when the tantrum are directly related to their condition? He has always had trouble in PE and the lunchroom in the past.
The problem I noticed the day he was suspended was when the coach changed from softball which the kids had played for about a week to dodge-ball and that is when my son had a meltdown. Do you have any suggestions that can help him?

Answer
Different districts have different policies, but yes, the principal may be able to suspend a child with Asperger's even when the behavior may well be related to his diagnosed condition.

But whether or not he's suspended is likely not the point for you. I'm sure you would prefer that such incidents just didn't happen. So would the principal and definitely so would your son. It's possible.

Let me wear my educator hat for a minute rather than my parent one.

If we look at this from a principal's or teacher's point of view, while they're interested and concerned about your son, they're responsible for the safety and well-being of the entire class.

Although it's never acceptable, a tantrum by a six year old is different than that of a twelve year old. Your son is getting older and bigger and stronger. There may be concerns about his own safety as well as that of other students and staff.

There will be social concerns as well, on your son's behalf. School staff will be worrying about how this boy's tantrums appear to the other students and the possible isolating effects his behavior is having. Staff may be hoping that since your lad is obviously bright, he'll find being suspended unpleasant, make the connection between that and handling his frustrations with a tantrum and make better choices next time.

And, there's even a chance that the school may be using suspension as a way of calling your attention to this ongoing problem and attempting to have you work with them on a solution.  

It's good that the principal takes the time to talk with your son after the episodes and has realized that your boy does feel badly about what happened.

Now, from a mom's point of view. You are understandably distressed that your son has been suspended. You're also upset that he continues to have a difficult time in school but especially in P.E. You don't want him ostracized or hurt or to miss out on learning time.

If your son lets loose with his temper at school, it's my guess that he also does this at home. Particularly with a boy approaching his teenage years, you don't want a son who is at times out of control. It makes him feel badly about himself, and this could be a potential safety issue for your family and others around your son. Think how he'd feel if he really hurt something. And you definitely don't want any possible legal repercussions because your son has hurt somebody.

Since people with autism tend to fall easily into patterns, now is the time to work ways other than tantrumming to handle his frustrations.

Let's look at the reasons why your son may be tantrumming. You say that P.E. is his hardest time. That's quite understandable when you think about autism spectrum disorders.

Most people with autism have sensory sensitivities. Their bodies don't register sensory input in quite the same way others do. They may be over or under sensitive.

Let's consider the sense of touch. To someone with autism or Asperger's, what feels to you like a soft brush on the arm may actually feel hard enough to hurt. Or if not hurt, at least startle.

Think about hearing. If you're hearing is overly sensitive, a gymnasium is a large, open space with loud, echoing noises. There's the sound of kids yelling, sneakers squeaking on the floor, the coach's whistle, balls bouncing... People with autism and Asperger's often have auditory processing difficulties. While their hearing may be just fine, listening, interpreting and know how to act on what they hear can be problem areas. Auditory processing difficulties are worse when there is a lot of background noise and confusion and movement such as during P.E. class.

If you are sensitive visually, gyms are huge. The ceiling can seem to go on forever. The floor may shine and reflect the lights. There are bodies moving everywhere, not necessarily in a predictable pattern.

Many people with autism spectrum disorders have weak vestibular systems. They have trouble with balance and in knowing where their bodies are in space. And they may have poor gross and fine motor skills, making running or catching a ball in a coordinated fashion difficult.

Given the possible sensory difficulties, picture a typical P.E. class. Often the students are told to begin class by running laps. There are a number of possible problems:

- If your coordination is poor, running is not easy. You may not be able to run fast enough or in a straight line.

- If you are sensitive to touch, while running laps, you'd be worried that someone might accidently brush you.

- If you have poor balance or don't have a good sense of where your body is in space, you may run into someone, making them mad at you and further alarming your own sense of touch.

- if you have trouble with visual processing, you'll be unnerved by all these bodies flying around you

- if you have auditory processing or hearing sensitivities, there's the stomping of dozens of feet on the floor, the squeal rubber-soled shoes make, the yelling and laughing of the kids

Picture a child with Asperger's or autism in the above situation, just holding on to their anxieties with everything they've got, then what does the teacher do? He blows his high-pitched whistle. The child's anxieties go over the top, he has a melt-down and is asked to leave the gym. Whew! He may feel relieved to be out of there!

Now, I am not in any way suggesting that a child with an autism spectrum disorder should not take part in P.E. Just the opposite. The exercise is good for everyone.

But there are things that can be done to make the experience more tolerable for all. There are adaptations that the adults can make and there is learning and growth on the child's part.

Let's look at the sensory aspects first. Here are some suggestions to consider:

- weights. Ankle weights or a weighted vest can help a child feel more grounded and calmer. When some kids wear some form or weighted product during gym they can tolerate the experience much more easily.

- ear plugs. If the child is sensitive to the sounds, try some small, foam earplugs that will still allow him to hear the teacher's instructions

- when it comes time to blow the whistle, let your son do the blowing. If the sound is under his control, he will likely find it easier to tolerate

- or if the teacher will blow the whistle, pre-arrange some signal with your son to let him know it's about to happen so he won't be startled

- for some P.E. activities, it might be all right for your son to not participate. He could count laps for others, keep score, help ref, set up equipment, etc.

- if there's going to be a game, teach the rules and actions to your son ahead of time. Have him practice with just a few others before having to participate with the full group

- don't rely on verbal instructions. Most people with autism take in information they see far more easily than what they hear. This is true even for very verbal people with Asperger's and high functioning autism. Write down instructions and go over them with him. Draw out rules and game plans. Show rather than tell.

- shorter his P.E. time. If a full period is too much, let him leave half way through. If he can only successfully tolerate 10 minutes, make them a good 10 minutes, then he leaves. Gradually increase the time until he's able to spend a full period in P.E.

- in conjunction with your son, work out a plan of what he is to do when he feels overwhelmed. Can he signal the teacher that he needs to leave for a minute. Can he go get a drink, walk to the washroom or go to a pre-arranged safe place? Does he know that he can leave without throwing a tantrum to get kicked out?

Catching on to the rules can be hard for kids with Asperger's and autism. And they tend to get stuck in patterns. You mention that your lad had a meltdown when the coach switched from softball to dodge-ball.

It might have taken your son a while to catch on to softball. Even if P.E. was hard for him, he was at least reasonably sure of what would be expected of him in softball. Then the coach changed the rules. There's a whole new set of expectations involved in dodgeball and your son didn't know them.

Unpleasant as it might be for your son, P.E. classes will always be changing. It's more interesting for the other kids that way, plus the students need to learn skills in many areas.

Your son can learn to handle this but he'll need preparation. It's not a lot of work necessarily to help prepare him but taking the time to do it can make a big difference behaviorally.

A schedule seems like such a simple thing but it pays big dividends. I'd suggest a daily schedule but if P.E. is your primary concern, at least a schedule that will cover what will take place during P.E. period. This could be done at school by the teacher, a teacher assistant, with another student or by you at home. Sometimes just letting a kid know what will happen, how long it will last and what's expected of him makes a big difference.

Social stories are another way of letting him know what will happen and what he should do.

I've written more about this here:  

http://www.autismsite.ca/html/soccer_team.html and http://www.autismsite.ca/html/gym_and_music.html

Some of the same sensory issues may be causing your son trouble in the lunchroom. Often unstructured times are the hardest for kids with autism spectrum disorders.

Again, for lunch, I'd suggest using a social story and schedule to let your son know exactly what he should be doing. This should include what he should do when he begins to feel upset.

Does your son recognize when he's becoming upset? Can he recognize from facial expressions when someone is upset with him? If you're not sure, try the free games that are found on this site:

http://www.do2learn.com/games/feelingsgame/index.htm

http://www.do2learn.com/games/facialexpressions/index.htm

You may be surprised just how poorly he does with these. That will give you a starting point to begin working with him. And if he finds these games difficult, discuss this with your school and the special ed people there. They may be able to help with social skills program.

I wrote about a similar situation in a previous All Experts question. I think some of the discussion there applies to your son as well. The question appears at the top and you'll need to scroll down to see my response.

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Autism-1010/Frustrated-Control-Teen.htm

Your son can definitely control his temper tantrums. Maybe not just yet, but he can learn how to manage his frustrations in a socially appropriate way. Indeed, he has to. If he has Asperger's, he's obviously bright. It's likely he'll finish high school, and have the chance to go on to post-secondary education and hold down a meaningful job. If he's going to have the opportunity to reach his potential, he needs to have the skills to manage himself. In my opinion, that's more important than any high marks he may ever attain. What's the point of being smart if you can't handle yourself well enough to ever let anyone see your talents?

Life is a group affair. Rightly or wrongly, the world is not going to bend for your son. Yes, he has Asperger's and because of that, some things will be harder for him. But that's all the more reason to help him learn the skills he needs to make his way in the world.

Please contact me again if I can give more suggestions about a specific situation.

Best wishes,

Sharon A. Mitchell, B.A., B.Ed., M.A.
http://www.autismsite.ca