Expert: Trey McGowan - 1/15/2008

Question
I have two sons on the spectrum, one with autism and the other with aspergers.  Both are gifted and there is nothing similar about the two.  My older son is having difficulty in High School and when he feels overwhelmed he shuts down.  What do you do when he shuts down in the classroom?  Some teachers feel that it doesn't look good to the other kids.  I am considering pulling him out of High
School.

Answer
Hi there, Kristen!

This is a question that is near and dear(?) to my heart: ASD children in high school. As you may notice in my details, I never finished high school, myself. So while I won't say I'm the poster child for the 'child in school', I *will* say that I've had a good view of what sort of weight that school can put on an autistic child.

Now, I'm not a psychological or medical expert, so you can feel free to take my words with a grain of salt when it comes to 'medical' sort of comments. However, I can attest to the fact that everyone learns differently, both ASD and neurotypical people. This means that if your son is having extreme difficulties in high school, maybe one of the best things for him would be to see if you can work on home studies. This will allow you and he to set a schedule that works for him, and to still get his education for if and when he finds a job that is to his liking and skills.

The fact of the matter is that the school system can be extremely stressful even for the average child. For an autistic one, it can be more harmful than helpful for their learning. So rather than try and shoehorn them into something that's hurting their education, work on finding a way that they can still get what they need. The meltdowns should lessen and the learning should hopefully be better.

Now for the question about what to do when he shuts down. One of the best things to do is to speak with the teachers and see if there is a way that he can get out of the situation that's causing trouble. If he is feeling overwhelmed, allow him to take a bathroom break, to go fetch something in the library for them, or to just take a quick walk down the hallway. I can't promise that the teachers will be sympathetic, but sometimes the best thing for when one is overwhelmed is just to move away from it for a bit and return afterwards.

As for not looking good to the other kids, I wish I could say 'Tough; they'll deal', but kids can be cruel. You may need to keep an eye on how the other children react to it. Writing out a card or something with an explanation so he can just hold it out and let them read, rather than verbalize when he is breaking down, may very well help. That way, they might well have some understanding of the situation rather than lashing out at something they just plain Don't Get.

Hopefully these comments and suggestions were some help! Any feedback, thoughts, comments, et cetera that you have, feel free to send them on!

Trey