Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 1/10/2008

Question
Hi, I have a 9 year old son, and I live in Hopewell Junction, NY. I have recently been thinking about whether or not my son has a form of autism. When he was younger, he was a very calm baby who hardly ever cried, he would love to just sit for hours playing with one toy, and this was a far cry from my 2 rambunctious daughters, so I just thought it was his personality. Later when he went to school, he had trouble in kindergarten, mostly with his fine motor skills, but also with socialization, in particuliar he would not like other kids "invading" his personal space, touching him, etc. He also was very sensitive to sounds (children yelling, firetrucks, etc.) I had him evaluated at school, and also by my own MD, and was told that he had a late birthday, and needed to catch up with the other kids in his grade. Well, stupidly, I believed this, and now, even though he is a straight A student in 4th grade, he still can't tie his own shoes, or open up certain packaging, etc. I can ask him to go in the kitchen and get me something, and he won't be able to find it, but he can tell me everything in detail about our solar system! I wonder if it's too late to do anything about this, is there anything I should be doing to help him? I worry about how he's going to make his way in the world with limited motor skills and not so great common sense in ordinary things. I feel like such a failure for letting this go so long, I just felt that things would work themselves through. Thank you for any advice you can give!

Answer
Hi Carol,

Don't beat up on yourself. It is never too late to help a child with a learning disability. You went to the "experts" and they missed the diagnosis. It happens too often. You are doing the right thing and paying attention.

A nine year old who cannot tie his shoes or find an item in the kitchen, yet knows the entire solar system, definitely is showing a major unevenness in development. Bring this up with the school and his doctor. This time, don't take no for an answer. The awareness of the autistic spectrum has improved a great deal in the past few years. I think they will listen. Clearly, he has NOT outgrown it or caught up. It's time for them to face reality.

It is possible he has some other dysfunction. I'm not absolutely certain it IS autism, but it's something that needs to be diagnosed and addressed.

Parents know their child better than anyone. Keep knocking on doors until you get some answers.

Best wishes,
Catherine