Expert: Paul Johnson - 1/24/2008

Question
Ok, I don't know were to start. I am looking for some information as to where to go from here, I was watching nightline tonight and they did a special on girls with autism, I was only sort of watching at first but as most medical info does it really caught my attention so I started listening and within minutes I was crying.  I have always KNOWN I was bipolar, yet no doctor has ever agreed with me, also no doc has tried to figure out what the real problem was either.  Ok well, I am a 27 year old nurse, I do not have problems with education, never have, BUT I do have extreme social and emotional problems.  I do not know when to look away from someone's eyes during conversation, I hate social gatherings of family, friends, or strangers, I literally get sick knowing I have to go to one.  I am extremely self conscious during conversation, especially telephone calls, I am not sure what to say next or how to end the conversation, I find at the start of the conversation I am already planning how I will end it, all while still listening to and getting the full conversation.  I literally can not keep myself from crying when it comes, it just doesn't work that way for me.  And I may cry if you look at me a wrong way, seriously, that is not a pun. Also sometimes its the other extreme, I may be in a truly sad situation and I find myself not sad when I know I should be but I simply am not. I am obsessed with medicine, always have been, I will actually set and read a medical dictionary.  I don't hate affection, but I only want it on my terms, except with my children.  With my husband, if I initiate the hug or kiss I am ok with it, if he initiates it I don't want him to mess with me.  I am selfish and weird.  I don't have any interest in having sex. NO desire.  Yet when I do have sex with him, I enjoy it once I let myself get into the moment with him.  But, I never actually want it, not him, sex.  Ofcourse he doesn't understand this and it is a huge issue in our marriage.
Ok well I have just filled your "ear full". I don't think I have even really posted a question, what I am looking for really is where to go from here?  Do you think, with your experience, that a diagnosis of autism is a possibility for me? Will any doctor take an educated well spoken woman seriously when I say "I think I have high functioning autism."?  My mind is swirling right now, Oh I also forgot to mention that my father and brother have tourettes if there is any links that you know of there.
Thank you so much for reading this thing and I hope you can point me in the right direction.  Thank you again, Holly

Answer
Hey Holly,

Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed question.
I can well relate to your concerns and feelings. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 46.
I have two degrees in Psychology. The salient point is optaining a qualified assessment so an acurate diagnosis can be made. It might be good for you to seek a clinician that is expert in making diagnoses along the ASD's.

Your symptoms appear to be within the characteristics of AS. I hope you do not mind my avoidance of diagnosing you right here. It is important to have a clear idea of what emotional characteristics you have. Once this information is optained, relax because it is counterproductive to continue to try to find what is wrong with you. You are a fine person and try to find what strengths you have an make use of your gifts.