Expert: Ettina - 10/31/2008

Question
My 6 year old grandson is very hard to transition from one task to another especially dressing and when he doesn't want to do what you want him to do.  For example:  getting ready to go in the car and not wanting to get dressed--he flops on the floor and will not get up and put clothing on, just kicks and fights any attempt to get him to stand up or put clothing on. He is getting big and difficult to lift.  He has flopped down on a store isle and even in the middle of a street as a way of not doing what you want him to do.
Any suggestions?

Answer
Sorry it took so long to answer. I've been unexpectedly busy the past few days.
I have the same issue as your grandson, although it's gotten less extreme as I've gotten older (mainly because I've recognized it and took measures to make it easier for me to transition).
For me, part of it is a poor sense of time. I honestly don't know how long something will take or how much time '5 minutes' is. If you know the time to stop something is coming up before you're told, it's easier to shift attention.
Secondly, I also have a long attention span. My preferred mode of operation is to spend hours and hours doing one thing. For example, in school, I'd have much preferred to study a different subject each day of the week, rather than having all the subjects in 1-hour classes each day.
You didn't say how good your grandson's verbal skills are. Can you explain why he needs to transition better and get suggestions and an agreement on something you two can work together on regarding transitioning? If so, I recommend you do that. If not, it's going to be trickier to deal with the problem.
One common suggestion for helping with transitions is to give them advance warning - eg 'in 5 minutes, we'll need to get going'. That can help, but from personal experience I'd say it's often not enough information. For me, adding a reminder of what kind of getting-ready stuff I should do helps. For example 'In 5 minutes, we'll need to get going, so get to a good place to stop soon.' This suggestion, of course, works better with a kid with better verbal skills, but since many autistic kids understand more than they can express, it's worth a try even if your grandson has poor verbal skills.
Another suggestion is to, prior to starting the activity, give them some kind of cue for when they'll need to stop it. For example, in the graphic novel 'With the Light: Raising an Autistic Child', there is an autistic boy who likes a certain clock with a choo-choo train that his family has. His mother takes a picture of his school hat and the clock showing a certain time and pastes them underneath the clock to let him know when he needs to get going for school. When the time came to go, she told him it was time to go while pointing out that the clock matched the clock-picture, and he went willingly.
Lastly, I know it's hard to do, but try not to get too upset when he's resisting a transition. I find when people are getting anxious about time and pressuring me to hurry up, I tend to get overloaded and have a meltdown - which, of course, slows everything down. So it's often counterproductive to pressure too much. Try to stay calm when trying to get him to go - take deep breaths, disengage, etc when you're getting really upset. Then when you're a bit calmer try again.