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Question
My daughter is six years old and was diagnosed with ASD three years ago. She is very high functioning, with eye contact, social skills, and transition issues. My only difficulty with her is her temper. She gets very whiny and sometimes will have violent outburst. She has been transitioning herself lately and will start to laugh after her outburst. I am needing some help on how to deal with her temper and violent outburst. Just some other information about us - I also have a three year old and four month old twins, so we have had a lot of turmoil in our house. Also, when she was diagnosed my husband was deployed and came home last summer. She is getting help through the school district and I have taken milk and yogurt out of her diet, which has seemed to help with the outburst.
Hi Melissa,
Angry outbursts are common in ASD kids. I'm not saying they are acceptable, but it comes with the territory. Part of what leads to this is the very "black and white" sense of right and wrong most of these kids have. She feels she has been wronged when someone violates one of the rules, as she understands them.
I recommend a "time-out" rule that requires her to go to her room (I hope she has one alone) and stay there for 5 minutes. The goal here is to remove her from the situation but also to help her find her way to calm down on her own. Once she is calm, she is welcomed back, no recriminations. The outburst is a "mistake" not a conscious act of aggression.
Also, teaching her to notice the build up of frustration that leads to the outburst can be helpful. Talk about the tight stomach, hot face, clenched fists or other signs she is getting mad. Then, talk about counting to 10, walking away, or other techniques to stop the outburst before it happens.
Self control is a learning process for all children. The autistic child is usually about three years behind his/her peers, emotionally. So, if these outbursts remind you of a toddler, that is not a coincidence. She has just reached that stage.
Since removing milk products had been helpful, you might also experiment with removing wheat. Gluten intolerance is common in autistic children. Try it for two weeks. If it has not helped by then, it probably won't.
I can tell you that this period is rough but it can be survived. Hang in there.
Best wishes,
Catherine
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| Rating(1-10) | Knowledgeability = 10 | Clarity of Response = 10 | Politeness = 10 |
| Comment | Thank you for the response. I do already have a time-out spot that the girls go to. It's in the front room on the couch. She shares her room with her sister and has too many toys in there for her to think about her actions up there. Talking with her about the signs of anger is something I have not tried - she knows when she is angry and we have talked about expressing the anger by say "I'm mad", which she does sometimes. Most of her temper comes from not getting what she wants - she is a VERY good negotiator and is always asking for one more minute. I have tried to wheat thing and did not see as much of a difference as I did when I took out soft dairy. I know I just need to work through this and thank you for your response. Melissa | ||
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Answers by Expert:
Catherine Ridenour
Expertise
I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience
I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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