Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 11/4/2008

Question
My son is in first grade. This year so far has been awful. He has hit, thrown chairs,pencils,books,etc. He has hurt a couple kids this year and has been sent home from school at least once a week. A lot of the tantrums he throws in school are about turn taking or sharing. I dont know what to do. the school and i have had many meetings to figure out what would work for him, so far nothing has worked. I dont want my son expelled from school, but i also dont want him to hurt anybody either. Can you please give me some feedback that will help the school? At home he isnt that bad,then again he is an only child too,so sharing and turn taking dont happen much at home.

Sincerely
Lori and Zachary  

Answer
Hi Lori and Zachary,


Most of these problems stem from impulse control issues. Autistic children are, by definition, self-centered. They do not realize others have thoughts and feelings, they can't follow the "golden rule" because it makes no sense to them.

It may be necessary, for a time, to have an adult aide with him in the classroom. This person would be there to intervene if he becomes aggressive. He/she needs to have authority to touch your son to catch his fist or stop him for throwing something. (Not about punishment, all about prevention.) They would then redirect him in appropriate behavior, again, without judgment. It is beyond the ability of one classroom teacher to be at his side at every transition in classroom activity.

Over time, with much practice, he can learn to control his impulse to lash out when he feels someone is trespassing on his space. He needs training in recognizing the early signs of anger or frustration. Talk about the physical feelings he experiences, tight fists, hot face, etc. He is unaware that these sensations have meaning.

His occupational therapist needs to be using "social stories" to help him learn social skills associated with sharing, turn taking and the like. These simple, illustrated story books take on simple situation at a time and show how he should react. Usually, his own name is used for the main character so he can relate better to the story.

I have to tell you this is a common issue in oldest and only children with autism. It is my observation that most higher functioning autistic children are about 3-4 years younger, emotionally, than their peers. So, if he's acting like a 2 year old, that because his emotional function has just now reached that point. They do continue to progress, just with that 3 year lag time.

Hang in there. Keep working with his IEP team.

Best wishes,
Catherine