Expert: Trey McGowan - 11/24/2008

Question
Hi there, my 7 year old son seems to have similarities with Aspergers Syndrome. I home school him & I am wanting to know some things that will specifically help him later in life if I expand him now & teach him thing that won't come easy for him, he has learned a great deal from  his brother in regards to socialization & personal relationships. I want to know what I can best do for him as his mother & his teacher. Please help Ethan hasn't been diagnosed yet I'm trying to determine if it matters if he is diagnosed or if I can use therapy's on my own.

Answer
Hi there, Johanna!

First thing's first: I want to commend you for doing a great thing in taking the time to school your own child. Homeschooling is becoming more and more common, and though I'm not going to stand up and yell 'ADVOCATE' (because this is for Asperger's and not some giant soapbox of belief), I *am* going to say that it shows a lot of dedication to your son's knowledge and education, and the fact that in this case, he needs a different style of teaching. So kudos to you!

Now, whether it matters if he has been diagnosed or not is a rather difficult question to answer. Mainly, the 'does it matter?' depends on whether you intend to be able to use the resources available by more official groups, or medical professionals. For these sort of things, while a doctor-given diagnosis might not be necessary, it is for a lot of them. Therefore, if you are using your own methods, and they are working, I don't see a need to bring in a more formal diagnosis; sometimes things don't need a name. I do suggest, however, that you at least get a doctor's name and potentially a meeting or two, so that if you find you *do* need these things, you have someone on-hand who already knows you, and who can help you out with getting them.

You ask what you can best do for him. That is, unfortunately, a very wide question, and I don't know that I'd be able to answer it simply. The problem is that 'what is best' can differ wildly for children, depending on how extreme their symptoms are, and what they are having difficulty with. Also, I'm not certain whether you are asking about teaching styles, tools, or just in general wanting the reassurance that not getting a diagnosis and home-schooling your child are 'OK' in some way. Which, as you might notice from the above, they certainly are!

I'm going to assume here that you are asking about the 'what would be best to teach', since from what I'm reading, it seems to be what you're concerned most about. If I am wrong, feel free to write back and I'll be happy to answer the more specific questions!

The first thing to focus on, rather than the subjects of teaching, is the *method*. The autistic mind can often work a lot differently than the non, and thus you may need to tailor the teaching around it. Fortunately, at 7, most of the methods are quite similar: use things to keep his interest. If he enjoys reading, get as much of it written down as possible and let him read. Pictures will also help stamp it on his mind, if he is a visual learner. Make the lessons fun; create some games out of them as well as give rewards when the lessons are going well.

For actual lessons, obviously the 'three Rs' will help out, but more importantly, you'll want to work on social skills. The fact he's learned a lot from his brother is a big thing; you've got a large start there. However, you'll want to make sure that he gets out into public and practices some of those, at least a little bit. That way, he can start using them more fluidly, rather than awkwardly.

Hopefully those starting suggestions helped out at least a little! If you've more questions to ask, or clarifications to offer, then feel free; I'm always happy to help where I can. :)

Trey