Expert: Trey McGowan - 12/1/2008

Question
Hi Trey, My son is 3 years 4 months old and he was diagnosed with Autism in October 2007. He is very high functioning and has alot of symptoms of Aspergers. My question is he gets very stuck on 1 subject which I know is very common in Aspergers. Right now it is gears, he likes to watch the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show and it has a part that shows the gears and he will just rewind it and pause it all day long if I let him. Everything we talk about has to do with gears, I have tried to get him to talk about other stuff and he will not move on. I have even tried to tell him I don't care about gears and don't want to talk about it anymore. I feel bad for being kind of mean but I don't know what else to do. He goes on the computer and does the same thing on the website, it is always the same picture. If he finds anything that resembles gears he will try to make his own. I am not exagerrating when I say EVERYTHING reloves around gears. I am just wondering if you have any advice as to what I can do. I feel bad but it is literally driving me crazy. Thank you.

Answer
Hi there, Jasmine!

Ah, the infamous obsession of the Asperger's child. I can certainly reassure you that there's likely very few Asperger's parents who haven't had a very similar, if not identical, problem to yours there.

The first thing to know is that you're not being mean when you tell him you aren't interested in gears. You are simply not interested in them, and he is. The hard part is that a lot of ASD children also have the problem of a lack of what gets called 'Theory Of Mind'. That is to say, he doesn't recognize that there are other thoughts out there than his. In the end, he recognizes that he is interested in gears, and therefore, you are as well.

One suggestion I have for this is to start limiting the time that he can spend with his obsession. Obviously you can't keep him from gears all the time, since they are everywhere in the world, but begin teaching him that there is a place and a time for everything. Don't be vicious about it, but be solid. When he watches his Mickey Mouse Club, that's his time for them. Likewise, you can use it as a reward. And if he tries to go into gears when it's not in that 'special time', simply tell him firmly: "It's not time for gears. Now it's time to do (whatever)." The black and white, yes and no, rules rules rules world of the ASD mind will hopefully help with this.

Diverting his attention might work as well, but likely if it does, he will simply fixate on something else. However, don't worry: while a lot of the time, the 'interest' is never totally lost, a lot of children will grow somewhat out of their frothing obsession and start to learn about the 'place and time'. So try and keep up with the direction, and it should hopefully cool things a bit, even if he's still always going to have an interest in gears. Who knows? You may be able to direct it toward things that use gears, and start seeing if there's a mechanic, engineer, or similar thing in your son as well as a gear-obsessive!

Hopefully those suggestions will give you a boost! And if he has been diagnosed, then you might also talk to the doctor who diagnosed him, as well; he may well have some suggestions for someone in the area who can help out as well!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Follow-ups? Feel free to send them my way.

Trey