Expert: Celtica - 2/3/2008

Question
My first-cousin's daughter is less than 5 months younger than my own child
- Alexis will turn 4 on June 5 - and there is something 'not right' about the
girl. For example, she doesn't speak well at all. I've read up on the standards
and there is absolutely no way she has 200 words a stranger could
understand. She probably has 200 words, but is extremely difficult to
understand. She has frequent meltdowns, just completely outrageous fits
over the slightest little thing. For example, she can be 'playing' with my
daughter and flip out because the toy isn't hers. And she doesn't so much
play with my daughter as she does follow her around. There are other signs,
such as her gait is very bizarre, but 'her father walked that way' so everyone
thinks it's ok that she's nearly four and is walking around on her toes all the
time with her hands up in some sort of odd pose. In my observations, she
cannot answer who what when where why questions, but she can memorize
random facts, such as the first five presidents. A specific example of her
communication deficit is that she cannot say water at all, so her mom thinks
it is no big deal and teaches her to say H2O instead. Another example: I gave
my daughter a piece of cake at a Christmas party and Alexis danced around
in front of me saying "Ah Nee Oo Ee," (I need to eat) over and over. I asked
her what she wanted to eat and she could not answer or point to the cake. I
asked if she wanted cake. She said "ole kay" Her hearing is fine. The biggest
problem is, she is a darling, smart, beautiful little girl and I want her to get
help, but her mother thinks nothing is wrong with her and my grandmother
feeds this denial heartily. We use the same pediatrician. Should I let the
doctor know of my concerns privately so they can mark her chart and at least
get 'tuned in' to the fact that there is something amiss? Or is there a way to
broach this subject with the mother? The father works out of town and our
relationship is not that great to begin with, so that won't work. Also, does any
of this sound like a pdd nos to you??  

Answer
Hi Rachel,

since I am autistic myself diplomacy isn't one of my strengths...so I'm probably not the right person to ask what is the best way to suggest to somebody that their child might be on the spectrum. Honestly, this is very difficult for me to answer.
You could probably print out some information from the internet and try a direct approach and give her the print outs after telling her that you think this describes her daughter or buy a book on autism (which you yourself enjoyed reading) and leave it on the table at your cousin's house next time you visit and just wait for her reaction.

From what you write about your cousin's daughter, her behaviour can mean she is indeed on the autistic sprectrum, but I'm not doctor, and cannot diagnose anyone. It could as well be that she just has a speech/language disorder, but that's impossible to say from a few lines of text.

Hope this helps
C.