Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 3/19/2008

Question
I believe my grandson may have Aspergers.  As an infant, he cried continually while being dressed each day.  By 18 months he could count to 20 and knew the alphabet.  He became obsessed with buses, and while at the park he would spend most of his time watching buses pass by.  For the past year he only wants to watch the Disney/Pixar Cars DVD, and only plays with his cars from that movie.  He knows the story inside and out.  He has total meltdowns: once while in the bathtub, his mother brought his clothes in from the other room, and he had a fit because he wanted to bring them in himself.  He will scream for 2 hrs until he can do it himself.  Another example: their plane landed and the stewardess removed his "Cars" push tote to right outside the door of the plane.  He had a total meltdown because he wanted the tote put back where it was so he could push it out of the plane.  He continued screaming for almost 2 hrs because they wouldn't let him do it his way.  He is in preschool, and has problems pushing other children.  If they are in an area where he wants to go, rather than ask them to move, he just runs up to them and pushes them.  Also, when his mother is trying to explain that he cannot do something, he will hit her, bite her, and I hear her telling him to look at her while she is speaking to him.  I guess in one word I would say he is intolerant of change.  In 2005, his father mentioned that he had just heard a program on the radio that described him to a T, and that he couldn't remember what it was called, but it was in the Autism spectrum.  His father has anger issues, depression, social problems, etc.

Answer
Hi,

I believe you are right. Your description is a perfect fit.

You mention that Dad has problems socially and anger issues? Spectrum disorders have an hereditary component. Dad is probably an undiagnosed "Aspie."

Urge his parents to get a professional evaluation. Early intervention is  his best hope to overcome some of the issues. There is no cure, but much is now known about how to educate these kids in social skills.

He is pushing kids out of his way because he does not understand that other people have thoughts and feelings. This is called "theory of mind". To him, other people are objects just like his cars. He can learn this but he must be directly taught. Each new situation will require new learning. Asperger's syndrome individuals do not generalize information well. For instance, he may learn not to push on the playground but that may not translate to the lunch line.

You need to know that his advanced verbal skills are not really "complete." He is likely to have a very rigid definition for words. He will not understand figures of speech such as "let the cat out of the bag" meaning to tell a secret. He will want to know what cat, where? He may not process what he hears accurately so he may not follow complex directions well.

Therapy will center on increasing his tolerance for change and acquainting him with the social rules that the rest of us just pick up automatically.

Most of these kids are emotionally delayed about 3 years. The tantrums are like a two year old because that is the level he can function at, right now. He will grow up as he gets older, just expect him to be "behind himself" emotionally. He can't help it. By the time he is 25 or so, he will be pretty well caught up if he is taught how to take responsibility for his own actions.

The good news is that he's clearly a bright kid. Don't downgrade your expectations for his life. Aim high and love the stuffin' out of him.

Here are some web sites to explore:

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html (many links to books, articles and resources)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm (the definitions and
government links)

http://www.autism.org/ (many links to information)

http://www.angelfire.com/pa5/as/asteachersites.html (teaching resources)

Best wishes,
Catherine