Expert: James Michael Roan - 3/17/2008

Question
  Hello, I'm writing to ask a question because I feel as if I'm in between or not quite at the symptoms of Aspergers. I have been diagnosed with ADD, since I was 7. (I am now 24)

When I was younger I used to get very frustrated, and throw things against the wall, etc. I stopped as I got older, I still get frustrated sometimes (if I don't agree with someone, if I don't understand a math problem, if something just rubs me the wrong way and I can't fix it, etc) however I don't throw things anymore, I just try my best to relax because in my head I know I'm being unreasonable.

There were some issues when I was younger that went away as I got older, such as hand flapping when I was excited sometimes. Also up until about 3rd grade there were instances of masturbating in school. Never me directly touching myself but just rubbing on things like the edge of a chair. That went away though when I got older. My mom told me that when I was three or so in dance class I would just stand and suck my finger and stare at myself in the mirror endlessly and not pay attention.(I sucked my finger all the time as a young child, and to fall asleep until i got braces and was stopped at the age of ten) As a toddler I cried at the beach because of the sound of the ocean. I still don't like loud sounds, at a scary movie I am more likely to cover my ears than my eyes, and I refuse to flush the toilet at night, and sometimes in public restrooms where I know it will be particularly loud.
When I was little and my mom would file my nails, I would pull away and say it hurt, and it did. I can file my nails all right on my own but to have someone else do it hurts somehow.
I dislike some things such as food, fabrics, etc, because of their texture.
I don't have a set routine that I follow strictly, but I like traditions. If we are going to do something different for a holiday than we usually do, my parents try to inform me well in advance because I need time to adjust to the idea.
I'm not obsessive about things being in place, but if I feel things are tilted or unbalanced I get irritated until I am distracted or it is resolved. I like to set my furniture up symmetrically.
I have trouble keeping eye contact especially with people I don't know well. When I do it is a conscious effort.
I don't have many friends, and those I do I have had for a long time. I don't make new friends easily, I have trouble transitioning from being with someone at school to being at the mall just hanging out. I also as a child and especially as a teen frequently felt that people did not notice or connect with me, that I was expendable and didn't make an impression on people. I am socially outgoing, but have trouble really making friends. I don't THINK I bore people, I think I read expressions okay, and understand the emotions of others. I just feel like I socially matured slower than my peers. I wasn't ready for the same things at the same time always. It took me longer to really be ready for college,to wear make up, to enjoy going out to clubs, etc.
I have intense interests, but they are not so specific that I have no interest in anything else, or broader topics. One topic tends to lead into another, at least it has. Learning about the Romanovs led to royalty in general, which lead to European history in general. I have multiple intense interests. I will say I don't like to say that I like something without really knowing about it. My friend likes dinosaurs, but more in cute little kid kooky dinosaur stuff. If I were to say I like dinosaurs, I would like the kooky stuff, but would also want to read about them so I wouldn't feel like I was liking them superficially.
I think thats about it. Once I write it all out it sounds worse than it is, because I really lead a fairly normal life, I'm not seriously impaired. Just sometimes I am a little more odd, and wonder if there is a reason for it. I feel as if my social impairment isn't sever enough to qualify me as having Asperger's but there is certainly something different about me. Please let me know what you think, if it is worth getting checked out or not.

Answer
Hi Ashleigh;

There is something different about all of us! If you have Asperger's syndrome my guess it is very mild, even subclinical. Your "social impairment" may even be due to your personality type such an introvert versus an extrovert. Many people are low socially and that's o.k., unless it is so low your are without friends and some degree of happiness. I know many people who are low socially in terms of social thinking and social competence in groups. Social competence in groups is where many adults with Asperger's have the greatest problems and actually become nervous and afraid. I become agitated when in tight social activities but I do not become afraid and my behavior is limited to escape behavior!

Kind regards,
James