Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 3/20/2008

Question
Hi, Catherine, Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

I have concerns about my 16 month old grandson. He will be 16 months in 9 days. I have thought he was developmentally delayed for some time now.

1. He takes no interest in other children. I also have a 13 month old grandchild. When they are together, he could care less whether he is there or not. This is the only other child that he is around.
2.When we play peekaboo with him, he will just smile, he will not put his hands to his face and play back. Although, he enjoys being chased, because he loves to run.
3. He never pretends anything...he will not put a phone to his ear, etc.
4. He does not wave or point at all.
5. He cannot play properly with toys. In fact he doesn't even like toys. He doesn't play with them at my house. And I have heard this all his life from his mother, that he simply doesn't like toys. He will play with a ball only. When we are playing ball, his eyes are fixated on the ball, he will never look up at me during this time.
6.He never brings me objects to show me anything.
7.I don't really know if he is oversensitive to noise, although when he heard hammering at my house...he cried.
8. He will not imitate me. I turn on music and start dancing, and he just smiles. I play peekaboo, and he just smiles.
9. He responds to his name sometimes. Last night I heard his dad say his name 5 times before he looked at him.
10. When I point to something across the room, he will not look at it.
11. He does not try to attract my attention on anything except when he is scared. He is scared of his grampa for some reason, and he then walks to me to be picked up. Not for very long though, he doesn't like to be held.
12. I don't believe he understands what I say. I ask him to bring me the ball, and he does not. I ask him if he wants to go outside, and he just looks at me. He only smiles when he is smiled at.
13. I have only heard him say mama and dada when he hears" say mama, say dada" I have not heard him say any other words but uh-oh...and he doesn't say that in contrast. He will just say uh-oh for no reason.
14. He will not hug...he will kiss when asked, but reluctlantly, sometimes he won't.
15. I have never seen him have any expression on his face but cry or smile. I have never seen an exited look on his face, or a "what's that?" face.
16. If we are in a restaurant, he will not sit in the high chair for very long. He will want out, and down, to run. When he runs, he runs like he is just running away..He also does this when we are going outside.
17. he does not like to be held at all.
18. He recently started grinding his teeth.
19. The other day, he stuck his hand down his throat and threw up.
20. He is not a very social person. He doesn't acknowledge new people walking into the room...
21. The other day, his mom dropped him off, and he began to uncontrollably cry and scream, and he went to get his bag and went to the door...but never once said "mama"...
22. when she came to pick him up that day...he was in his high chair eating but never said mam when she walked in the room or smiled...
I am sorry this is so long, but i wanted to be as thourough as I can. I did the chat screening tool, and he failed 16 out of 23...and 5 of the critical ones.
I finally got the nerve to talk to my step daughter about it. I asked her to take the cat...he was not with her at the time...where he was with me when I did it. She said the only thing that he got wrong is the pointing issue. So she says he passed. Catherine, he could not have possibly not done all these things for me...and according to her he does. I have done this with him several times. She feels that as long as he is smiling when we play peekaboo, he is playing it..She says he says the words, bath and outside. He has never said those words for me. He is never around kids except when he is with my other grandson. He does not acknowledge him at all. Yet she says he does. I am my wits end. I want him to be evaluated, but she feels he is fine.
My other grandchild, who is 13 months old...passed this test...he has hit all his milestones. When he is around the 16 month old...he wants to play with him, but he always runs away, and gets away from him..he hugs, waves, points, says words...etc.

My question to you is, am I over exaggerating? There are several people that notice this behavior in him. But she feels nothing is wrong. But if there is, isn't early intervention the best? Please help!!


Answer
Hi Joni,

There is plenty of reason for serious concern. This boy is showing all the hallmarks of an autistic spectrum disorder. And yes, early intervention is crucial!

He needs to be evaluated by an impartial professional. His pediatrician should be doing some simple benchmark tests at each well-child visit. If this is not happening, he needs a new doctor.

I know of no way to force this issue with his mother. What does his father say? What does his grandpa say? Does his mother have a sister who is concerned? The more people who mention the problem, the harder it will be for her to deny it.

She needs to get this child out with other children so she has some comparison of normal behavior in a child his age. It is not uncommon for parents to miss the signs in their first born child as they don't have any experience with a normal child.

I have told many people that it is better to have the parents mad at you for speaking up now than to have them mad at you, three years from now, because you did not. Keep trying, for your grandson's sake. I wish I could do more.

Here are some web sites where you can get more information to share with your step daughter:

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html (many links to books, articles and resources)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm (the definitions and
government links)

http://www.autism.org/ (many links to information)