Expert: Trey McGowan - 3/13/2008

Question
My daughter is 11 years old.  She was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3.  Ever since she's been in special programs and is currently doing well in the 4th grade.  She is very independant and likes to draw a lot.  She has been attached to the Bratz dolls since she was about 5 years old.  Her entire room is made up with Bratz.  I have 2 nightlights for her on day and night and her radio is playing all the time.  Sami can't get over this fear of me being murdered.  We have never experienced any type of violence at home or anywhere else.  Currently she is being treated with Zoloft and Abilify for her "anxiety" and fears.  I really feel that this is not working at all.  I have to sleep with her several times a month.  Can you tell me what else I can do or if there is any other way that I can assure her that she has nothing to worry about.  This situation is really overbearing and I've tried so many things that I feel like I'm the one that is going to need to get medicated soon.  Thank you,
Wilma

Answer
Hi there, Wilma!

A busy week delayed my answering of this question, so I hope you will forgive that it took a couple days to get back around. I try not to make a habit of it. :)

The first thing you may want to do is prepare to take her off Zoloft. Zoloft is good for depression, but when it comes to mania, some people have reactions, in that it will make them *more* manic. I know I, myself, did. I am uncertain as to whether it is an autistic issue or whether it's just different brain makeup, but it definitely can cause anxiety in its own way! Talk to your doctor about it before you do it, of course, to see what might be able to be done.

I wish I could be a bigger proponent of drugs in such youth, but I genuinely try to steer away from them. They often have side effects for someone as young as that, so they are generally considered a last ditch effort. Obviously since you've tried a heck of a lot, it might very well be a last ditch effort! I'm not completely certain how early she was put on the drugs in the regime. But if it was extremely early, I suggest trying to ditch them and work without. With your doctor's OK, of course.

Now, what to try? The nightlight is a good way to start off. You might also add a lock on her door that you can unlock easily, or one that doesn't actually *lock* so much as gives her the reassurance of having it there. A deadbolt turn-key without the deadbolt attached, for example. You can also speak to your local police, maybe, and see if they will let you bring your daughter around to talk to them a little bit, and let them reassure her. Obviously check with them first before you bring her in; I don't know how large your city is, or how friendly the department is. Having someone who the child equates with 'putting the bad men behind bars' telling her that they're on the job might well help. And if you've been considering a pet, how about picking her up her very own guard dog (AKA a puppy or a friendly pound dog) that you can tell her will keep her safe?

Do you know what got this whole thing started? Did she watch an episode of CSI/Law And Order with you that got her worried? Then see if you can't tell her that the bad guy was caught, and persecuted. Was it a book she read? Tell her the rest of the story, or let her read it (or write your own) where the bad guy gets his just desserts. The idea here, though, isn't to completely remove her caution about the world, but to reassure her that to be *this* afraid isn't necessary. Healthy caution in a child is a good thing. It can keep them from trouble later on. But *un*healthy caution, as you're finding out, can be... well... unhealthy. :)

See if those suggestions offer a little bit of reassurance and comfort. I wish I could give you 'one magic cure', but when it comes to children, there can be so many different reasons for what happened to trigger this, if anything. Fingers crossed that it will work out for you! As always, questions, comments, feedback, follow-ups, whatever, are welcome. My mailbox is always open!

Trey