Autism/5-yr-old

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Expert: - 4/4/2008


Question
Hi!
I have a 5-yr old son who was dg. as a high-functioning last year, he was still wearing diapers at the time. I got some nice ed. video about toilet training for kids and he understood and start urinating in the toilet right away but the #2 was a problem! 6 months ago with help of my parents were able to train him(it took us a whole summer) and he is diaper free during the day now. As I said, he is totally in control and urinates by himself but #2 he is still somewhat ressisting! It is almost ike he is trying to push it back. His whole body gets stiff, he leans forward and usually pushes on some hard surface(wall,tree..)That is usually a signal to me so on a good days I just have to tell him that we have to go "pupy", but on some worse days I have to make him sit! and he still does it with me being there...he hugs me very hard and gets so scared-excited, he is very stiff and have his legs crossed and in front as he sitting and he rubs his inner thighs. It is obviously that he is scarred and that is why he resist it but I am trying to understand why? do you have an idea or advise how to make it more comfortable? I sit next to him,hug him and  I keep telling him that is O.K....the other day I found him sitting by himself in the same pose,which is a good sign that he might be ready to do it himself and many times he calls me and tells me he needs to go "pupy" but because the whole issue he is limited to going only at home when I am around! otherwise he makes himself not-go which must be painful.
This summer I'll try to train him during the night, so we get rid of diapers completely...any advise there?

Answer
Hi,

this is difficult to answer. While I know I had similar issues at about the same age as your son (one year younger) I don't remember *why* I wouldn't use the toilet for #2 (seems as if I was sort of scared of the toilet).
He's probably scared of what happens inside his body, and that things from inside his body (which he may feel are "parts of him") want to come out (they also do in diapers, but in a toilet they come out "more visibly"). It may be a case of exposure anxiety
(see this book by Donna Williams:
http://www.amazon.com/Exposure-Anxiety-Invisible-Exploration-Self-Protection/dp/...
), but this is just speculation. I'm sorry, I don't have any advise for you, since I also don't know how my mum managed to finally make me using  the toilet for #2.

I'm sorry I couldn't help much,
C.

Autism

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*DISCLAIMER*

Please note I am not a healthcare professional or a doctor.
I cannot provide a diagnosis or give any medical advice.
Therefore I cannot answer questions like "is my child autistic ?" other than by telling you to go and see a specialist
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Please also be aware that I'm a person with autism. My answers may sometimes be very blunt and direct and I may tell you things you won't like to hear. Diplomacy is certainly not among my talents. I'm never being rude on purpose, and I always try not to hurt or offend people, but it has happened before and may happen again. It's NEVER on purpose. I just want to help.
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What I *can* do for you is gather information on any aspect of autism and therapy of autism you're interested in and give you my personal oppinion about it (if you want to hear it) or, if it applies, tell you about my personal experience. I can answer all questions about what life is like for an autistic person.

I can also answer questions asked in German or French (but will have to answer in English to questions asked in French as my French is a bit rusty).

Ich beantworte gerne auch Fragen auf Deutsch.

Vous pouvez poser des questions en Francais, si cela ne vous dérange pas que je responds en anglais.

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As I'm not doing well right now and am not in the shape of answering questions well - I recieved a few low ratings lately - I'll take a break from AllExperts for the next few weeks/until I'm doing better

I am an adult diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome/High Functioning Autism and ADD.

In the past years I have also read a lot about autism and its comorbid conditions and related subjects (as I am experiencing symptoms of most of these or know others who do) , so I have accumulated a lot of layman knowledge in this area (AD(H)D, Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, sleep disorders, allergies, sensory integration dysfunction, learning difficulties, left/right-brain, giftedness, Irlen Syndrome, prism glasses, executive dysfunction (aka. "inertia"), "special" diets).

Education/Credentials
None in the field of autism, apart from being autistic myself !

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