About Michelle Fattig Expertise I can answer questions about educational testing, autism, Asperger's Syndrome, ADD/ADHD, Special Education, IEP, Learning Disabilities, Sensory Processing, Parent Advocacy, Response to Intervention, living and parenting with disabilities, parent rights in special education, school psychology, and more. I cannot provide a medical diagnosis.
Experience I am a school psychologist, medical technologist, author of the Annie Books series: Experience Aspeger's Syndrome and Attention Deficits Through the Eyes of a Child, RTI facilitator, ILCD facilitator, parent advocate, presenter, and researcher. My children and I have Asperger's, ADD/ADHD, and learning disabilities.
Organizations National Association of School Pyschologists, American Medical Technologists, Learning Disabilities Association of Nebraska
Education/Credentials Ed.S. in School Psychology, doctoral studies in SPED Law, SPED Systems Enhancement Leadership, and doctoral candidate Education Leadership. MT(AMT) and MLT(ASCP)
Question I am concerned about my (4 ½ years old) step daughter, Addi. She exhibits many odd behaviors that I cannot understand. I realize that all children have different personalities, but since the birth of her sister, Rylie (now age 2) the contrast between the two girls is so dramatic; I feel we can no longer deny that something is wrong. I apologize for the length, but am trying to provide as much information as possible.
Addi copies her 2 year old sister in play to the point that it seems she lacks independent thoughts. She is extraordinarily attached to not only her blanket but whatever stuffed toy she happens to need each week- or month- the time periods vary. She only will wear pink and prefers to wear whatever her sister is wearing.
She is very awkward in most new situations or surroundings even if a parent is present, but it seems she is unaware of how uncomfortable she appears. She relies on her blanket and will suck her thumb when tired or when uncomfortable. I can only describe what happens when she is over-stimulated as a meltdown. She isn’t violent and doesn’t throw tantrums, they are pure emotional meltdowns and she is very withdrawn after having one. She is extremely withdrawn anyway and I’ll often find her laying on the stairs alone when children are around having fun. I’ll ask her if something is bothering her and often she will simply ignore my presence entirely.
-She has a very limited diet of macaroni and cheese, pizza, and chicken nuggets. She rarely eats much and refuses to even try new foods or even foods similar to her favorites. If they look different (for example penne pasta with cheese as opposed to easy-mac) she moves the food around on her plate but eats little if any. She never says she is hungry, but eats when everyone else does or when food is offered.
She baby talks frequently and babbles about nothing- mostly repeating things she has heard. It seems as if she has no emotional attachment to anything she says and is talking only because that is what others are doing. It is like she is simply appeasing us by speaking, I cannot describe it any other way. She often stares off into space and will not respond when her name is called repeatedly. She is able to tune everyone and everything out most of the time.
Her pre-school teacher says she is average-behind in relation to her classmates and suggests reading more books to her. She shows no interest in reading books with us unless we are reading one to Rylie. She mimics Rylie’s reactions to the book completely.
Her sister was born when she was 2 years, 2 months old. Until that time, she was developing normally. When her sister was born, she regressed perceptibly. Her speech has not progressed since. Her father has worked out of town 4 days/week since Addi’s birth and he and the girls’ mother divorced before Rylie was born. I don’t think her issues are related to the divorce but I believe they certainly exacerbated them.
Eye contact is rare and I get the distinct feeling she’s looking through my eyes rather than at them. She has no independent feelings. Emotional expressions seem fake and imitated. I have one photo of her laughing while sledding that I treasure dearly as it is so rare to see her actually enjoying herself. She has no problem with strangers but gravitates toward young adult women rather than other children. She carries on conversations with them much easier than with those she knows. She baby talks and tells them her age or asks them about their clothing. She always tells them her favorite color is pink. She babbles about being a big girl and how her sister is just a baby. There isn’t any emotion in her speech.
Her sister, in contrast; has virtually the same vocabulary or possibly one more extensive. Her pronunciation of words is better. She is clearly the an extrovert and Addi is content to take her lead.
Texture is a big issue for her and she doesn’t adjust well to inconsistency in her life. She would prefer in most cases to wear worn out clothing to anything new. Tags bother her, textures of foods bother her. She doesn’t like loud noises or being over-stimulated. A trip to a toy store is likely to result in a meltdown, not over not getting what she wants but being overwhelmed.
I grew up in a huge family and am accustomed to having lots of kids around. I have never seen a child exhibit these behaviors. I have been researching relentlessly lately and Addi doesn’t seem to really fit into any of the autism spectrum disorders although she has characteristics of several. I simply have no experience whatsoever with children like this. I guess I am just searching for some guidance- does her behavior seem normal to you? I don’t want to ignore obvious signs at the expense of compromising her chances for improvement and would like to help her as much as we can at home. Her mother isn’t on great terms with us so I doubt we will have consistency and support although we put the welfare of the girls before any personal issues we have with her. We just want to help her! Maybe she is just in need of some counseling although I cannot imagine anyone getting her to talk about anything she doesn’t want to talk about. Any guidance you could provide would be much appreciated. Thanks so much!
Jen
Answer It sounds as if you have very valid concern. I would suggest contacting your local school district for a free comprehensive multidisciplinary evaluation. I would also suggest typing "Susan Mayes Autism Checklist" in a search engine, and completing the questionnaire to take with you to the team meeting and your physician. The following may be helpful as well:
Name of Child: _____________________ Date of Birth: ________ Age: _______
Name of Referrer: __________________ Relationship to Child: ______________
Parent/Guardian: ______________________________________________________
Names Address Phone
Date of Referral: ____________
Referral Concern (Please list any concerns about child’s communication, behavior, or development): _____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Medical History:
Pregancy: _____________________________________________________________
Prenatal: ______________________________________________________________
Birth: _________________________________________________________________
History of Chronic Illness, Head Injury, Ear Infections, Hospitalization, or Accident: ______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Mother: ____________________________ Father: ____________________________
Siblings: _______________________________________________________________
Family History (Special Education, Developmental Delays, Learning Disabilities, Mental Health): _________________________________________________________
Who lives with the child: __________________________________________________
How does the child relate with:
Mother _________________ Father __________________ Siblings _______________
Family activities: ________________________________________________________
Does the child experience difficulty with peers, extended family, or social settings?
_______________________________________________________________________
As an infant, did the child experience difficulty with colic or soothing (stiffen or pull away when cuddled or stroked)? ___________________________________________
Communication:
1) Does he or she respond to his/her name: Never Sometimes Often Always
__________________________________________________________________
2) Does he/she express her needs or wants: Verbally Pointing Pulling Tantrums
___________________________________________________________________
3) Does he/she talk like children his/her age? ______________________________
___________________________________________________________________
4) Does he/she follow simple or complex directions? ________________________
____________________________________________________________________
5) Have you ever wondered if he/she is deaf? _______________________________
6) Does he/she seem to hear at times, but not at others? _______________________
7) Does he/she ever seem lost in own little world or stare off? _________________
_____________________________________________________________________
8) Does he/she mimic, copy, or like to immitate? ____________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
9) Does he/she seem to have lost words, or say fewer words than before? _________
_____________________________________________________________________
Social Concerns:
10) Does he/she smile at family members? __________________________________
11) Does he/she smile at strangers or become overly frightened by strangers? ______
____________________________________________________________________
12) Does he/she prefer to play alone or overly dependent on parent/caregiver for entertainment (you are his favorite/only toy)? ____________________________
____________________________________________________________________
13) Does he/she get things for self? _______________________________________
14) Is he/she very independent or overly attached (extreme separation anxiety)? ____
_____________________________________________________________________
15) Has he/she met milestones early or unevenly? ____________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
16) Does he/she seem to avoid eye contact or have too much eye contact (watching without mirroring or reacting like a little professor)? _______________________
_____________________________________________________________________
17) Does he/she often seem “lost in own little world”? ________________________
____________________________________________________________________
18) Does he/she seem tuned out or uninterested in other children? _______________
____________________________________________________________________
Behavioral Concerns:
19) Does he/she seem to have excessive tantrums or emotional outburst with little or
no provocation? ____________________________________________________
20) Does he/she express frustration or over react to small changes or routine? ______
_____________________________________________________________________
21) Does he/she demonstrate a lack of understanding in playing with toys (excessive mouthing, banging, lining up, sorting, focus on one part like spinning, or lack of interest)? __________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
22) Does he/she seem to get stuck on things regularly (wants to stick with one activity over any others, watch the same movie over and over, read the same book over and over, or other)? _________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
23) Does he/she have unual attachments to objects? ___________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
24) Does he/she toe walk or have unusual facial movements/grimacing? __________
_____________________________________________________________________
25) Does he/she make any unusual hand movements or spin for long periods of time?
_____________________________________________________________________
26) Does he/she seem overly sensitive to textures or sounds? ___________________
_____________________________________________________________________
If Age Appropriate:
27) Did he/she babble by 12 months? ______________________________________
28) Did he/she gesture (point, wave bye bye) by 12 months? ____________________
29) Did he/she use single words by 16 months? ______________________________
30) Does he/she seem to have an unusually advanced vocabulary? _______________
31) Does he/she seem to have an extremely good memory? ____________________
32) Does he/she demonstrate two-words spontaneously (not echo) phrases by 24 months? _________________________________________________________
33) Has he/she demonstrated any loss of language or social skills of any kind? _____
_____________________________________________________________________
(3-4 years of age)
Cognitive:
34) Show him/her a doll or stuffed toy, touch one to a box and have the other
pretend to look in the box. Ask him/her “Which one knows what’s in the box?”
Response: ____________________________________________________________
I hope this is helpful in getting the interventions and services she may need to help her navigate more comfortably in the social world. I would also suggest direct social skills instruction by the speech pathologist through the local school district, also free.
