Expert: Michelle Fattig - 5/1/2008

Question
I have been reading about aspergers/ spectrum disorders. Are these kids with spectrum disorders close to their parents/close family but not to their peers, or is just everybody ?

Here's why I ask that question :

My daughter is 3yrs 6 months. She seems to be doing her own thing at school and not interacting with other kids. In fact, she does not care (this is neither shyness or fear) much for many people except for a few selective ones in her life.

- she loves to spend time with us parents and initiates conversations, has a good vocabulary and uses it appropriately, quite adaptive, shows a lot of love and concern. She does knowingly test her limits often, but other than that, I can't complain much.
- she loves many people from our extended family and is very attached and is excited to see them. She always tries to get their attention and interacts with them just like she does with us.
- she loves our neighbors' daughter who is a first grader and initiates most of the play. My daughter always asks to play with her; cries when the play date is over.

As you can see, she selectively likes people and doesn't care for the rest. In general, my observation is that if someone goes the extra mile initially, then she takes a liking to them and interacts well with them.

Do I need to be concerned ?
Thanks for your time and advice!  

Answer
If she is a happy, well adjusted little girl who doesn't appear to be negatively affected, you probably shouldn't concern yourself too much.  If, however, you have other concerns as well, such as being overly rule bound or rigid, if changes in routine or environment are overly stressful, she is overly sensitive to noise, tastes, textures (tags, socks, certain food textures, etc.), she has motor concerns, extreme separation anxiety OR doesn't notice or care if a caregiver leaves, doesn't always respond to her name, lost in her own little world, lack of interest in give and take games, or other; you may want to follow up with a free comprehensive evaluation through your local school district or family doctor.  A nice checklist to use is available by typing "Susan Mayes Autism Checklist" in any search engine.  Also we have many free downloads available at www.anniebooks.com.  Please let me know if there is anything else you need.