AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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Question My son is 6, (almost 7) with high functioning autism. I divorced and remarried. I am looking for information on stepfamilies and also visitation. My ex has not had much to do with our son but his parents are sueing for grandparents visitation. My son has extreme anxiety regarding visits and I have had to drag him down the hall in the morning of a visit. They also do not agree with treatment or schedule so there is alot of retracking when he comes home. I want him to see his grandparents because I know he loves them but it has been 6 weeks since he has and he is finally potty trained for bowel movements. I hate to lose that because they want overnights.
Answer Hi Liz,
Number one, be glad his grandparents DO want to be in his life. I have encountered many families where an autistic child is considered something to be glad they are "rid of."
Get some documentation from a medical authority about the necessity for consistent schedules and handling in the life of an autistic child. Take it to your lawyer and have it presented in court. It would be reasonable to request daytime visits, only, until his toileting is well established. It is also reasonable to require adherence to dietary restrictions (gluten-free, for example) if there are any.
Be prepared to provide written instructions and reasons to your in-laws. Don't expect them to remember all the quirks and special accommodations your son is accustomed to living with.
Having said all that, autistic kids can learn to be somewhat flexible and the only way the learn it is to encounter new people, places and situations. Introducing this, gradually, is good for him in the long run. Being over-protective is not in his best interest. Sometimes, miraculous things happen. He may be so accustomed to depending on you, he is not caring for himself. In an environment where others do not anticipate his needs, he may become more self-reliant. He may refuse vegetables at your table, but eat up Grandma's "sweet potato surprise."
I can tell you love your son very much. Try to make room in your life for his grandparents to love him too, even if your ex does not seem to be able to do so at this time. Contact with one's family roots is priceless.
