AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
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Expert: Catherine Ridenour Date: 7/10/2008 Subject: advice.please Daughter of 6years
Question Hi Catherine
Would you be able to give me some advise.
I have a beautifull and truly amazing daughter called Mia
she will be 7years old on sep 30th.
Catherine i have had some worries for sometime and wonder if you may be able to help.
Mia's developmental stages have always been rather slower than other children for e.g speech , toilet trained a few months ago andsocial issues. Mia did not mix at pre school and would not conform to the expectany.
I've always tried to be very patient with Mia and not pressured her to think that she's any different just because she doesnt always conform to peoples expentancy.
Mia always had a fasination with Thomas the tank as a child and is extremly good at puzzles/crossworlds anything we she can use brain to methodically works thinks out.She was a very good child but we could not get Mia to eat.
She hated the fact of having to sit with people at the table and eat and was a very choky baby/child and untill recently never told you if she was hungry or thirsty.Mia's emotional development has been extremly hard on myself as a single mother , if she was ever ill or something had happened you would never be told,
i found it so frustrating that other children could explain what hurt but she just couldnt tell you.If she was ill in the night up untill just recently she could not tell you if it was an headache or bad tummy or cramp in her leg etc..She just kept on crying and said its noithing and wanted me to go away.
I have also always taken Mia to many enviroments where she could learn social skills and have many friends with children but again untill recently it as been very difficult to try and get Mia to acknowledge them and also want to mix.Mia is a most lovely girl who we always assumed just wanted to play on her own and untill recently have started to realise that actually she was finding it quite difficult and possibly very overwhelming.Mia is now ready to go into year 2 and since reception i believe has found school extremly hard and very worring she hasnt mixed well and again not conformed to the expectancy of her age, ie getting dressed , sitting at the table instead of getting up and going for a walk and never finishes work. she also untill recently found the cloakroom very hard as it was too busy and all she thought about was getting hurt.
She is a very intellegent little girl who learnt to fluently read years ago and the work the children are now doing in the class she cant finish or finds it hard.I beleive She may at times find changes in subject learning a little hard to grasp and may panic untill she learns her own way and then excells.I beleive now the teachers do not see her as a naughty child and instead of getting awards for good behaviour she is being praised for being the child she is and i beleive they now realise that at times her beahaviour in school is just reflecting her worries at that particular time for what ever may be happening.
I had a situation recently where Mia was digging on her own in the playground and brought stones into the class, the teachers told Mia off and told her not to do it again.Mia however on the next break went straight back out and did it again.
The teachers were very unhappy about this and couldnt wait to tell me about her bad behaviour, tried to explain that Mia probably didnt understand and i spoke to Mia who really didnt think she was doing anything wrong and i said if she feels the need to dig she can however when the bell goes she must drop the stones at the door before she comes back into School.
This as far as i know is working as Mia dropped out the other day that she had a lovley safe place ot side for her stones right by her classroom door.ah bless she does listen..
There are many many more things i could say, at times i feel like a terrible mother and that she's absolutly fine and i'm making all this up.
Im sure the teachers think i'm crazy as sometimes when i'm in the school they give me the most funniest looks as though it me thats causing Mia to be like this.They have now also placed Mia on speech class as they beleive Mia is not coping at school due to being scared of children
and implied this was due to me not mixing her with children enough.
Please can you help
Thankyou
Carla Lilley
Answer Hi Carla,
Your daughter should be tested for an autistic spectrum disorder. Everything you tell me fits into Asperger's syndrome. Most of these kids are very bright, read and talk early, but walk and run late and have great difficulty with social interaction.
Don't take "no" for an answer. You are NOT a bad mother. Don't let them tell you girls don't have this. It's not as common in girls, but it does happen.
She needs direct training in social skills. She may be fearful because the she is missing out on the subtle signals of facial expression, body language and tone of voice. Things are happening that she cannot predict and does not understand. This "social deafness" does not go away. Only with direct teaching will she learn how to initiate social contact and how to respond to the approaches of other children. The use of "social stories" (look this up on the Internet) allows her to learn about the expectations of various situations, like sitting at the table to eat.
Many autistic individuals lack "theory of mind." This means she does not realize that other people have thoughts and feelings. They are more objects than persons. She can learn this, but it also requires direct teaching.
I am sad to hear that she was not allowed to share her rocks with the class. The teacher missed an opportunity for your daughter to do something highly social. Her interest in rocks can be channeled into a love of geology. At least she has been allowed to pursue the digging and collecting.
Be cautious about strict ABA (behavioral modification)programs. They produce normal looking behavior but they also tend to kill the great creativity that these kids are capable of.
After the evaluation, write back. I would love to know what happens.
