Expert: Trey McGowan - 7/3/2008

Question
My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half.  We are planning a wedding, and can't wait.  My partner and I have 3 children from her previous marriage. Right now they live with day, but we are soon to be going to court to request custody of the kids.  

We have a 4 year old son, a 9 year old daughter, and an 11 year old who has Asperger's. I have quite a bit of experience with folks who are living with more severe forms of autism.  I managed a group home with individuals who were non-verbal, self injurious, and very very sensory sensitive.

Being a parent to our daughter for me is a no brainer... Mostly because I have never noticed her being different.. because her differences aren't easy to notice.

UNTIL NOW!  HELP!

She has always been one to ask question after question about everything.  She wants to understand everything about everything and wont take "lets talk about it later", or "your too young to understand" for an answer ever. Everything has always been "Why...., why..., why..."

She just got back from Bible camp.  Now she wants to know what God thinks about gay people. Since there is no right or wrong answer, and her dad and step mom have a different concept of what God thinks about us then we do.... I'm not sure what to say.  She wants an absolute answer. She wants something that can be proven.  and she wont let go.

Any Ideas?

Answer
Hi there, Jay!

Ah, the delight of the 'Why?' stage of an Asperger's child. While most of the time, it is like the average child in the world, as I'm sure you're definitely noticing, it can be a *MUCH* different, and more difficult, thing! Solid, definite answers are sometimes hard to come by.

First off, I will warn you that I am answering this question from the point of view of 'hard facts' and 'trying to answer to an Asperger's child'. To that end, it may very well seem to have little to nothing to do with religion, or may not answer things in a 'Bible camp' method. I'm not certain of your own belief in things, so I wanted to make the advance warning that while the question is a religious one, the general answer may not be. I'll definitely leave it up to yourself and your partner to adjust the answer around your own comfort levels!

One of the very best things you can do is to try and look around Internet archives, or local GLBT news archives, for solid news reports on gay/lesbian animals. Show these to your daughter, and explain that God created the animals in that fashion. They are not bad and wrong animals, because animals don't really *have* 'bad and wrong', but just what they were created to do. God created people to have their own will and decision-making, so a lot of people will have their own beliefs. Because of that, people are able to believe that things are 'bad and wrong'. A lot of people will have a lot of beliefs, and 'belief' is not something that is solid. It is different rules for every person.

The 'proof' of faith is something that is very difficult to show. However, the 'proof' that natural animals have homosexuality is definitely out there. And if you are looking for solid proof to your child that God doesn't think ill of them, I can think of no better way.

Good luck and happy hunting! Questions, comments, follow-ups, bric-a-brac, can always be directed back this way!

Trey