Expert: James Michael Roan - 8/31/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hello. I have a 14 yr old son his name is Daniel and some of the ways he acts I am not sure if he has aspergers syndrome. He is very shy and and at school he has only one friend but is most of the time by himself. He says to me that he would rather be with me than boys his age. Also he gets really emotional like he will burst in tears if he accidentally dropped a plate on the floor and it breaks. He does not make much eye contact. When he gets mad at someone he feels he has to take it out on himself and mentions suicide. :( When he is happy however he kinda acts immature like he will shout. however he does not do this out in public. only at home. He is most of the time goofy and giggly toward people. And is especially goofy toward the "poop" subject still. he still thinks that kind of stuff is funny. He does poor in math subject but is very gifted in music with his violin. When he gets excited or happy he flaps his arms and hands. He walks normal though except when he is hyper he tends to walk clumsy. Do all people with aspergers walk clumsy-like? This is where I doubt that he has aspergers because he does not walk clumsy all the time and also when I get frustrated he can tell I am but other than that I'm really not sure if he can recognize peoples emotions . however if someone walks down the street with his or her head down and a slight frown on his face he can tell that person is obviosly sad. But if someone goes up to hi, I've noticed, that says something in a rather excited voice on a particular thing..my sons' look changes into a surprised questiony look like he is not sure if that means good or bad and has to think what that person said to him over in his head it takes him awhile for it to click.. I've noticed that alot with him. Also he is not very cordinated doing the simple "chicken dance" he could not get. I've noticed he is not good with directions I give him he has to ask me over. When he talks to people however he talks slow and the words seem to come to him slow. When he was younger he was obsessed with setting his toys well neatly on his dresser and his stuffed animals on his bed rather than playing with them. But some of that neatness changed when his younger brother who is 12 is now sharing a room with him. He did not like when his stuff had to be changed and rearranged when his brother moved in with him.  Well that is basically how my son is. And I'm not sure if it is aspergers or not? Do you think my son could have aspergers or defiantly does? I explained pretty much everything that seems aspie like to me.
Should I get him help if he does? My most concern is the depression and the suicide talk.

ANSWER: Hi Mariam;

I cannot diagnosis over the internet. The behaviors you described "fit" with a possible diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome(AS). Not all AS children have apraxia/dyspraxia (clumsy motor movements and slow speech), but most do. You should be concerned about depression. I suggest you have him evaluated for both depression and AS. It sounds like he may have impaired executive functions, which make it difficult to regulate emotions. Almost all children with AS have some executive dysfunction and difficulty in "reading" emotions in others.

Please feel free to ask more questions if you like.

What country do you live in? I can tell you more if you live in the U.S.

Kind regards,
James

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I do live in the U.S. Thank you for replying. It helps alot! But the way I described his slow on the uptake of peoples emotions. Is that the way it is for people with AS? Because I am not sure what exactly it means when people say they have trouble recognizing emotions..does it mean they they cannot read peoples faces even when its an obvious sad face? Or does it mean with the way I described it with my son and him being slow on the uptake of peoples emotions?
Thanks again James

Answer
Hi Mariam;

All people with AS are different, however, they are highly likely to share some areas of deficit and when they are young they have difficulty recognizing "some " emotions. Often, when shown pictures of children who are showing a common emotion, they will get confused with anger and happy. They can generally get most emotions correct and even look at pictures of people and "read" the situation correctly. They generally grow out of this but have problems with social competence in groups. This tends to last throughout their lifetime. They get very anxious in groups and will avoid them.

Your school district is responsible for the assessment of children suspected of having a disability and will provide limited therapy and services if they qualify for it. Call their special education/services department and ask to be on the earliest available agenda. AS is considered on the autism spectrum, which is a qualifying category. Most schools are not likely skilled or competent to diagnose AS at this age. Your son may qualify under the category Developmentally Delayed due to a social delay. Many, but not all, children with AS have a receptive language delay. It is often unnoticed since they tend to have expressive language ahead of their years.

Take care Mariam.

Kind regards,
James